I've been out for 8 years now, I'm only 25 and i still have the hardest time accepting it. I am married to an amazing woman and we are starting a family but deep down I'm afraid. Society is so cruel, especially where I'm from originally and it has scarred me. I no longer live in the south i am in California now and people are way more open but i still get afraid to walk out in public holding my wifes hand. In my head i still hear my family and those around me telling me I'm disgusting and that i haven't met the right man yet. Is that true? I still hear the guys i slept with because i wanted so badly to be straight telling me they could turn me back and that i haven't met a guy who could hit it right that was my problem and they could change that. It's debilitating at times this struggle. Why?
My realization is still quite new, barely been a month actually but I would assume it's like all things that are major in life, it will get easier with time. First you have to be comfortable with yourself be comfortable in your own skin, and once you are truly happy with yourself other people's negativity will just bounce off your positivity :eusa_danc Dam I'm really becoming a optimist these days lol
Lol very optimistic my problem is figuring out how to br comfortable at all with myself. I grew up being told i was to be with a man and a man. It was pretty much shoved down my throat so when i was unable to uphold that image i have since been disappointed in myself. I view myself as a let down and disgrace almost. That image i always held in my head of the great husband, family and white picket fence was shattered and replaced with a woman it felt like i was doing something bad. It was family and society influence that kept me from living this life for so long, from being the real me and I'm angry about that as well. ---------- Post added 28th Aug 2016 at 10:36 AM ---------- You know you walk outside holding your partners hand and you hear them ridiculing you. You seem staring at you as if you're some sort of circus freak and it feels shameful. I want to feel prideful but yet i can't for some reason
We need some others options and ideas in here on this one, confidence is something you have to build on your own, but like I said you need to be comfortable with yourself. You should never feel shame or guilt because your going against what society says is right or wrong, screw them, you are happy and that's all that matters if they have a problem with it tell them to go suck eggs!!! How does your wife feel about it ? Im probably not the best person to give advice on this, as I'm 6" 200lbs and I don't get intimidated, if anything people are intimidated by me, and I'm the nicest guy ever!!! Granted I have yet to walk down the street holding a male partners hand, but I don't think people are gonna say much in my presence, at least, when that day comes and if they do I have a feeling there going to regret it.
My wife doesn't really say much about it. She's pretty comfortable with herself for the most part. With me..everytime i start to gain confidence and get comfortable something happens. I was raped recently buy a guy who said i was too beautiful to be gay and that he could change me. It was a huge set back for me
Whoa!!! You ok ? That's rough, and of course your way in Cali, imo jail should not be a sentence givin to rapists unless they spend 6hrs a day bent over in the shower having a train run on them everyday they are in there. Im hoping the cops are/were involved and chanrges laid ?
I didn't report it. My wife and friends pressed me to file but i couldn't. I was afraid and have had many friends this happened to that filed and absolutely nothing came of it. It was always flipped and turned into being the girls fault.
....... If I could yell in type I would !!! ..... I'm biting my tongue rate now... Still biting it... Stand up for yourself and report it. Get that Fukr charged..... Biting it again.... Not cool. Very not cool. I know of 5 women personally and countless others who have done exactly what you did... Nothing. And alls that does is let that bastard get away to do it again.
It's a shit situation all around. And all that came of it was now i have more questions about myself and anger and confusion. It's not the first time a guy has said the things he said to me. I've had family members tell me similar things as well..
I kept quiet about molest when I was a kid for years. In the end I told someone because I found out I wasn't the only one getting hurt by him. Stewie is right. You can't let him get away with it. I'ld also recommend counciling. Have you talked with your wife about your struggles?
I see a therapist once or twice a month. I originally didn't report him because i had blocked it out..i went to a safe place when it happened which is what i had conditioned myself to do when the things happened to me when I was younger. I couldn't see him so i felt i had nothing for them to go off of if I did report him. My wife knows i struggle but she doesn't know the extent of what he actually did to me. Nobody does. It has made me question a lot. And definitely made me incredibly insecure with myself and my lifestyle
