I'm 21, but I still live at home, for as long as I can remember I hated my birth name. It's horribly common, doesn't suit me and I've always wanted to change it. Finally at 21 about to be 22, I'm going through the emotional and technical aspects of changing my name. At the moment I don't plan on legally changing it, though that will probably come in the future. Friends already call me by my name and have for a bit now, I recently found out my work doesn't allow you to go by preferred names rather than legal ones(I was quite upset), but I'd really like to tell my mother. We're incredibly close, we tell each other everything, she's known for awhile I didn't like my name but I doubt she thinks I'm serious about it. Generally she is very open minded about things, especially when it comes to things like gender and sexuality(even if she doesn't fully understand it), but I'm worried about telling her about me changing my name. Though it's not a family name, and doesn't have any emotional attachments to anyone(like I'm not named after another family member) but my mom takes it very personally whenever I express discomfort with my name. She also has a tendency to accuse me of being trans whenever I tell her things like this, which maybe I will decide I am later on in life, but I certainly don't think I am right now. I just want to be confident and comfortable. I can't really tell her I might be though, since she's told me she thinks people who are trans "have mental issues" :dry: And I need her to take me seriously. Does anybody have any advice about talking to her about this so she takes me seriously?
I changed my name once (changed back now) but I never told my mum as I knew how she would react. She would be angry and at the same time treat it as a joke and refuse to call me by that name. If we shared a mother, I wouldn't be telling you to prepare for battle... I'd be telling you to prepare for war. I would say one thing though: Its your name and it belongs wholly to you, and to no one else. Your name = your decision. Go for it and own own it! Sorry I couldnt be of more help :eusa_doh:
Chances are she won't like the change and not want to use your new name, the question I have is why do you need to change it ? Why can't you just go by that name with everyone except her ? Basically like a nickname, I know at least 10 people who don't use there full name or go by a nickname all the time, I went to school with a guy and have known him for decades now by his nickname. No one uses his real name, ever not even the teachers in school. Is it worth the (potential) battle or at least argument with your mother over something that really is trivial in the grand scheme of things.
Yeah but like I said, my mom and I are extremely close, hiding it from her really just doesn't even feel right even if it seems "trivial" to outsiders. Even if she refuses to call me by my new name I wouldn't want her finding out because a friend comes over and calls me by it. Which would be most likely to happen. Plus I would like to change my name on social media accounts, and she's on there and would see it.
