So yesterday evening, I can't even remember how we moved on to the topic, but my parents were talking about LGBT stuff. My Dad ended up saying how he doesn't understand these "modern relationships" and how he was reading the news and he couldn't get his head around the fact that there was an article about a woman and her wife. My Mum was talking about how being gay used to be illegal and during this short exchange, I was just there hoping that the ground would swallow me up! This was so weird for me as my parents don't talk about LGBT stuff that often but when they do, my Dad ends saying that he hopes none of his sons are gay (this was 2 years ago and you can imagine what this did for my confidence at the time). I would like to come out to them one day, but I really don't think I could bring myself to do it, not whilst they're saying stuff like this! I don't really have anyone that I feel like I could talk to them about this without it feeling awkward so I really don't know what to think let alone what to do... :icon_sad:
Hey Bee12, From what you posted, your parents’ comments don’t seem overly homophobic, just mostly uninformed. For example, you said your dad said that he hoped none of his sons are gay. He could have been much more homophobic and said something like “If I had a gay son, I’d throw him out on the street…” And his comment about not understanding “modern relationships” indicates he’s aware of his own ignorance, but not actively anti-LGBTQ. Your mom’s comment that being gay used to be illegal was a simple statement of fact (kinda, because, if I recall correctly, it was illegal in the UK ‘way back when’ to perform homosexual acts, not illegal simply to be gay). If/when you finally decide the time is right for you to come out to them, they may be able to adapt and accept you without too much trouble. And that’s especially true if they let the unconditional love that they should show you as your parents overcome any fears, doubts, or dislikes they may have about your sexuality. It’s amazing how some people who have even strongly negative views of LGBTQ people become much more accepting when confronted with a friend, child, etc who is LGBTQ. Of course, everyone reacts in their own individual way and it’s almost impossible to be certain how any given individual will react to Coming Out news before you actually present it to them. It may be that you won’t want to come out to your parents until you hit a situation where you find a boyfriend whom you’d like to introduce to the family, at which point you’d have to decide whether to Come Out, simply introduce him as a friend (while making him restrict his behavior towards you in the presence of your parents), or not introducing him at all. Ultimately, only you can decide if/when you want to Come Out to your parents. Good luck and stay strong! ---------- Post added 28th Aug 2016 at 01:35 PM ---------- And you have friends here at EC with whom you can always talk, vent, or explore questions.!
