Accidently "came out" to my mom on Facebook...kind of freaking out...advice?

Wow! For being involuntarily 'outed,' as would seem to be the case, you appear have gotten the best responses possible so far! Sounds like your sister definitely has your back, but doesn't seem to know that your mom had already expressed her unconditional support for you directly to you. It's absolutely wonderful that they both at least suspect and yet still have utmost respect for your privacy. You will either Come Out to them, or not. It's your choice and has to be done only if/when you are ready.

Clearly, they are concerned for you if/when you come out since they are trying to protect you from the rest of the family and friends until such time as you may be ready.

IF (and ONLY IF) you decide the time is right, it sounds like you don't need to tell them face-to-face, if that makes you too nervous, because it won't be something coming at them out of nowhere. You could write them a short note or letter.

If you feel up to it, you can simply go ahead and tell them face-to-face, of course. That is MUCH harder, especially in the case of your mom, but much more personal and meaningful (in my view). I mean, it's hard to talk to parents about sex in general, but telling them that you are not heterosexual is downright terrifying. In that moment that you Come Out, you are completely vulnerable and exposed, telling people you love something deeply private and personal.

Based on what you posted, it sounds like you've got an open door for both your mom and sister, but only you can decide if you want to enter it right now or simply wait.

One thing you may want to consider is how much your mom and sister really know about LGBTQ people. They may want to help you so badly that they want to sign you up for therapy or offer to get you treatment to 'fix' you. Of course, you know very well that there is nothing to 'fix' because you're not broken, but you may need to be prepared to tell them that and get them some literature to educate them so that things don't get awkward like that between them and you while they adjust to their 'new' and your 'normal' reality.

I hope this helps a little!

---------- Post added 28th Aug 2016 at 04:28 PM ----------

Also, if you decide to Come Out to your sister, it sounds like you might have someone with whom you can discuss your continuing quest to understand your sexuality, if you choose to do so. And by educating her about the LGBTQ community and talking about your personal struggles/issues, the two of you would most likely grow much closer.

 

Cool. Then, no worries.

Just figure out what is most comfortable for YOU at this point. Since it sounds like she won't be surprised, you could probably even just text her, if that would make you more comfortable.

Best of luck!

---------- Post added 28th Aug 2016 at 04:50 PM ----------

And there is really only one issue: "I'm gay." I mean, you could preface your statement with something like, "As you probably already know or at least suspect, I'm gay. I just felt the time was right to tell you."

You don't have to apologize or be sorry for telling her, if that's part of your hesistation. There is nothing to be sorry about, of course. YOU are the one opening up a part of your very personal life and it is who you are!

 

Hey-- first of all, I've never gotten beyond saying "I think I like girls", either, so I feel ya. The moment you think you know who you are, you doubt it, and it takes a long time to overcome that doubt. Remember "gay" is just another word, and there's a lot more about you than that

I'm happy to hear that your mom and sister reached out to you like that. They sound very supportive, didn't seem homophobic in the messages you posted here. I think you should discuss it with them-- not necessarily "come out" if you don't want to, but just talk about it: how you feel, your fears, past/current crushes. Saying it aloud to someone who will listen can help you both find normalcy, and help you accept yourself.

If you feel like talking won't help you, then that's okay too. Maybe let them know you want to deal with it alone for now. Otherwise, I imagine they'll continue to bring it up.

Dunno if this is a helpful reply, but I'm wishing you well!!

 

I understand where you are coming from. My family is also religious (Christian) and sometimes I wonder if it'd be easier if they were atheist or something.

Both my sisters now know, but it's like, I can't even acknowledge it. Seriously the only reason my sisters know is because it went like this:

Little sis: "I think I'm gay."

Me: mouths 'me too'

Older sister: "Are you gay or bi?"

Me: ".... I think I don't like guys at all.... Just.... girls."

It was really that ridiculous. Still, I can't say it out loud, even though both have been treating me the same. My little sister is actually closer to me now.

I wish I could say something to help. Just figured I'd let you know someone understands. I hope it all works out for you!(*hug*)

P.S. Sounds like your mom and sister has accepted you for who you are. Maybe all that's left is for you to accept yourself?

 

I came out to both my mom and my sister this weekend. I totally know how it feels to be so vulnerable in front of your loved ones. The fact that you already have received such positive and accepting messages from them both tells me that when you're ready, you will likely get a wonderful reaction from them.

I wish you luck!

 

Wow, those responses are great!

I know that coming out can be eventful and unexpected, but I'm glad you got such good responses!

Good luck on the rest of your journey!

 

You're a lucky guy to have such a wonderful sister and such a loving mother. Maybe you do need to acknowledge what they've said. Your mother may also be worried and confused about what it means for you. So maybe she'd appreciate the chance to talk about it all with you. It sounds like both of them are treating you with respect and dignity and that must make you feel good. So without knowing more about your family, I'd say find a way to at least acknowledge their concern and support for you.
Good luck.

 

I actually had a similar situation happen with me.

My sister facebook messaged me a video that looked like some guy that was borderline naked and I accidentally "liked it". She then asked me if I was gay, and I insisted that I didn't mean to like the message. She didn't change the subject. I linked her to a video of a "coming out song" and that was it. Even though i'm not certain and not 100% confident about my sexuality, my sister is there for me and doesn't care. Her best friend is gay and she told me "I love gay people. Gotta catch em all".

My mom is uber Christian (was church president up until July) and I know she's judgmental and don't know how she would react. The fact that both of them say they will love you regardless of you being gay is amazing. Also your sister is a major badass for covering for you like that.

I don't know how close you are with your sister. I haven't been that close to my sister until lately but she really has been super supportive of me. If my sister went through the trouble to keep your mom chill, and sounds like she doesn't really care, and has gay friends, then I would tell her. I don't know your situation and I don't think you should come out to her if you don't trust her, but that's what i'd do.