i have a co-worker who is a closet gay,almost all know about it,i have had many conversation in the past,with him and joked alot,but i also have a deep crush on him,i feel like he could be a very strong life partner for me,we are from the same age and have alot in common,but i just recently came out to family,i'm really not sure if he will believe me that i have come out,and he will think i'm just playing him for a funny reaction,how do i approach him,without scaring him away and the potential he may leak to other co-workers,?
How old are you two? What kind of place do you work? And you should just tell him. If he wants proof you could always give it.
Are you sure he's gay, or do you just think he's gay? Anyways I'd recommend the standard stuff like hanging out first
we are both around the 45-46 year range,it doesn't matter where we work,but another co-worker went out for just drinks with him and said the minute he got drunk he lowered his shields so to speak and became obvious gay,everyone suspects it,but he is so harmless, i love chatting with him,and when he comes around angry at something and vents about it,i get so dam turned on,all i want to do is just hug him and whisper,"calm down your with me now its all ok,", i thought to myself that perhaps i take him aside and explain i'm deadly serious about what i'm about to say and polietly ask him to refrain his anger around me,because it just turns me on that i have a hard time controlling my hard-on,then maybe he will get the hint,and agree to have a beer with me on the weekend, but if he rejects and blabs out my advance,workplace would not the same to say the least,i have managed to uphold the redneck facsaude with everyone to this point.
Hi there! Welcome to EC! Before you tell him about your crush on him, why not just let him know that you have come out to your family, when you talk to him the next time. It sounds like that you two have talked a lot, know each other. Let me ask you, are you out to him? If not, maybe come out to him and see what he says. I think it is great that you guys get along and that you have stuff in common. Still I think it would be best to be careful here. You have mentioned that he is still in the closet. If this is the case, and if you do tell him that you have feelings for him, and/or a crush on him, he might perceive it as an attempt by you to out him. It sounds like that you are not out at your workplace either. I doubt that he would out you at your workplace, or to other co-workers but still you also want to be careful here. I am sure you want to avoid finding yourself in awkward situations. I think the best approach would be to take it slow. Talk to him, let him know that you have come out to your family. Tell him a bit about your experience. Keep talking to him for a little bit longer and see what his overall reaction is. Then after a while (if you still have strong feelings for him) let him in on the feelings that you do have for him. Be honest with him. Also be prepared for the fact that he might not have the same feelings for you. Hope this helps a bit!
great advise and you so right on every point,what would i do without you guys i am so glad i joined this site,thanks very much and i will keep all updated in my progress,thanks for giving me this opprotunity to allowing my voice heard,time now to lower myself down from the clouds now.
There's a saying - "don't shit where you eat". Interoffice (or interwarehouse) romance is very rarely a good idea... Lex
