Note: (For any religious person reading this thread if any of what I mention somehow offends you it was not my intention.. Though I am not religious I think everyone is entitled to their own beliefs as long as they dont lead to hate or violence, and my reason for bringing up religion in this thread was because often times it is used as a justification/reason for hate/violence. So no offence intended, Thank you.) Though I am still figuring things out.. I am definitely sure at this point that I think I am trans and would like very much to transition eventually... Problem is this... my family "especially my parents" are Christian and very Anti-LGBT... I am personally an Atheist so of course their reasonings on why they hate the LGBT community are completely irrational to me, and using some old book as a reason to discriminate against and even harm certain people disgusts me... but the point is this... Should I tell them? or is it not worth the risk? I can't be sure if they would kick me out but I imagine they might see me as crazy or disown me or something... but I feel like not telling them is bad as well... as I am still a teenager I cant really seek out the resources needed to change without 1. them noticing, or 2. having their help... and I think unfortunatly help is the opposite of what I would get... but really does anyone have experience with something like this? and if so can I have some advice? as not telling anyone and pretending to be a regular guy like people expect feels like such a chore... like wearing a mask all day... and no one ever seeing the real me... my worry is... what if they throw me out... which im genuinely thinking "isnt implausible"... I once brought up the topic "casually" with my mom and gave good reasons behind why Trans people are normal, just to see how she reacted to the topic in general, of course trying not to indicate I was refering to myself in some ways... and thus begun the cringey lecture about "the bible says this" and "the bible says that" you get my point... so either way... Even if they dont kick me out they definitely wont like it... but I still feel like they should know... any Tips?
Hey Xey! This is undoubtedly a tough situation for you but if I was in your position, I would wait a bit longer just until you have more independence from your parents or until you move out. If you do come out to them now, there's no way of knowing how negatively they will react and as there's a risk of being kicked out, disowned etc you have to ask if that's a risk you want to take. No matter which way you go, there's going to be pros and cons but at the end of the day, you need to do what you feel is best for you! And don't forget, we'll all be here for you no matter what you decide! (*hug*)
It sounds like your parents have very narrow views about religion, so if you have any doubt about their reaction I would strongly urge you to put off telling them unless you have somewhere else to go and stay. Your fears are not unfounded and nothing is more important than your safety and security. It is hard to live a lie, I know that much, but coming out is a journey and if we do it in haste with no forward plans it can make a bad situation so much worse. Sometimes we need to focus on the present and see it as an integral part of our coming out journey. So if you are at school, college or university, put every effort into obtaining good grades and set yourself up for a stable and more independent future when you can come out on your own terms and begin transitioning without fear of being made homeless. It may not feel like you are doing anything relevant towards coming out, but your effort at school etc. will be incredibly significant further down the line and that's why it's an important stepping stone on the journey. Use this time to look for resources for parents of trans kids. If your parents are vehemently opposed to LGBT rights it may not achieve anything, but you need to satisfy yourself that you have tried to educate and influence them. Talk to some of our trans members and see if there are any subtle things you can do while you still live at home to ease the emotional stress of living in the wrong body. Is there anything you can do with your hair.. nails.. skin.. wardrobe that will be subtle enough to evade your parents attention but make you feel a little better? I think our trans member call them "small victories".
Remind them that Christianity focuses on the New Testament and that there's nothing but love from Jesus in that one. I participated in a debate in English class last year, pro and con LGBT. I was, of course, on the pro side, and since I'm an atheist, I was the one on my side that was given the responsibility of refuting the religious arguments. I've got tons of reasons for you but I highly doubt that they will accept them... Sorry
