Quick info: I don't use labels anymore but the one I used to use is agender and I'm afab. I dress masculine and my hair is short ( I prefer passing as a guy than a girl, or a mix of the two ) I also decided not to do anything before school starts regarding my name changing and stuff like that because if my dad found out he would be pissed. Okay, carry on. Holy crap I was not expecting people to react so well. I had this one teacher who even brought me to the director so we can talk about it ( but we didn't talk coz I had to go home ) and she told me she would change my name on her name list and everything and I was so happy. ( I'm meeting the director tomorrow for that so I'll probably update if I have time ) I told all my friends and they were all okay with it but they still sometimes called me by my birth name although I corrected them. ( side note: they didn't even recognize me at first, they thought I was a guy ( which is the point I guess ) so I was like YUS I PASS ) I have a friend in my class who is super acceptant and there was this girl that was with me last year that was asking why I cut my hair and she explained it to her ( she asked me before if she could and I told her yes ) and she was okay with it and called me by my name and I was like :00 I remember last night not being able to sleep until 1 am because I was trying to find out how I was gonna present myself to everyone. My plan was to only tell them my name and not my pronouns, but now I guess people know ( probably not everyone but a bunch ). Which is a good thing. So that's it! This day was way better than I expected and I'm so darn happy ^^ Thx for reading, hope you guys have a nice day too :eusa_danc
Omg I'm so sorry to hear that ;-; *hugs* ---------- Post added 30th Aug 2016 at 04:37 PM ---------- Thx a lot! ^^
{UPDATE} Here's what happened today. IT WAS BAAADDD. Yesterday wasn't actually the first day of school since there was no classes. Today was the "official" first day. And it's probably one of the most stressful, sad, and most disappointing first day of school up until now in my sad life. I had 4 hours of sleep last night because a damn storm with thunders and everything went knocking on my door and lasted about an hour. Then when I finally could have some peace, I went to sleep and had a nightmare. I think it was those kind of dreams you have that tells you something bad is gonna happen, since a lot of stuff was bad today. I barely ate breakfast because I was disgusted by food. I was supposed to meet with my director in the morning but I didn't because I didn't have time ( great start there ) and I didn't remember where it was, my "supportive" teacher ( who said she was gonna help btw, which means bringing me there and stuff ) didn't even do anything about it and worse, didn't even change my name in the name list. I first thought it was because she didn't have time but, since it was the first day of school, the teachers make this kind of plan to show us where we sit in the class and our names were written on it. My BIRTH name was written on it. I might be over dramatizing this but there's literally only 2 people that are trans in the whole school, including me, so it's not like it's hard to remember since she was being so supportive and all. Yeah maybe she forgot, but she completely ignored me during the whole class. ?????? I wanted to go meet with the director at lunch, but she was gone because she had to eat too so I decided to eat...except none of my friends were around. I got lucky enough to meet this new ( from last year ) friend and we decided to "eat together". And by eat together I mean going to Subway ( I had my own lunch but I still followed her ) and coming back because there was too many people, waiting for my friend to get herself a pizza in the cafeteria ( and btw there was a problem with the cash registers cuz it took her 20 minutes and basically 4/5 of lunch time was already gone ) and since I have this thing in my mouth that makes my teeth aligned and it's pretty hard to clean, I decided not to eat because it will take too much time. In science, a person came in our class to get me coz the director wanted to talk with me. We then went to see the school psychologist and she was telling me that they can't change my name because I haven't changed it legally. I started crying ( like always, btw in front of the director and the psychologist, it's humiliating ) as they continue telling me that I'll have to use the girl's bathroom, the teacher can't call me by the name I use and she kept saying that I was probably confused and that one day I'll realize I'm actually a boy. I don't get why the psychologists I went to always lack knowledge that there is NON-BINARY PEOPLE. They all think I'm a trans guy, and all have the concept that you're either a girl or a boy. Although I haven't been to a gender therapist, so that's probably why, but I can't coz my dad will know and he's not gonna want to and problems problems problems. Other than that, people looking at me, me being alone 95% of the time, me dying inside. Spent the rest of the day hungry, tired, sad, and smelly because I was sweating a lot because there's no ventilation and it felt like 40 degrees inside the building. So that's it. Maybe my expectations were too high, or I fell for my "supportive" teacher's charm but either way, I'm feel really down right now. I actually thought it was gonna work out well. I didn't want to turn this into a blog where I vent and all but I don't wanna keep it to myself, and sharing it with people that are like me is waaaay better than anything. Thx for taking your time to read this ^^ [btw, I have new school shoes and my skin is legit peeling off and it hurts so bad, and remember that I had to walk to the Subway ( which is about 500 m away but still ) and back to school ( a darn km ) and then had to run to arrive in my science class cuz we took so long to "eat". Also this was the first time ever that I didn't eat at school ]
Wow, Snoww, I'm so sorry things took such a negative turn. It sounds to me like you have a lot of people at your school willing to support you, including that one teacher who said yesterday that she would change your name on her list, but that you (and that teacher) got caught by unreasonable rules of the system at your school. The name thing I really don't get. If someone's name is say, Joan Elizabeth (insert a last name here), and wants to go by 'Beth' instead of Joan, I don't know of any teachers in my area that wouldn't accommodate that or any rules in the school administration that would prevent the teachers from calling someone by whatever name that person was comfortable with. Sounds kinda like teacher was 'cowed' by the administration into 'towing the line.' It looks like you would probably have to push the administration at your school much harder, insisting on what you want and what you know is right for you - it really isn't like they have to go way out of their way to accommodate you. But, of course, they may very well decide that they need parental permission, which then leads down the road to telling your parents (either them or you).:icon_sad: Your comment about the psychologists rings so true! You'd think that at a place like a school where the population completely turns over every so many years and where there is a 100% change that they will have to deal with LGBTQ students, that they would be required to have training on LGBTQ issues and how to deal with LGBTQ students!:eusa_doh: I don't know what to tell you specifically right now, but we are here for you and will keep listening and providing moral support!:smilewave Take care. Stay strong and proud!
I understand your disappointment. But I still think you are an amazing young person with so much courage. But you shouldn't have to fight for your rights to be the person you know you are. I'm very sorry to hear that you can't go to your dad for the support you need. I can also understand feeling humiliated when you cry in front of the psychologist and school director and it sounds like they are heartless or incompetent when they should be supporting you. Hope you can rely on your friends to be there for you.
Thx a lot everyone! I appreciate every single comment ^^ Today was a fairly good day. I continued asking the teachers ( that I haven't met, the others still call me by the name I use ) to call me by my name and they accepted ( hopefully the direction won't tell them to not call me by that ) ( I told them it was a nickname and that I use it more than my birth name, also told them about pronouns, while I'm at it xd ) and the rest of the day went okay. My friends have the name and pronouns right most of the time and yeahh. I think this won't be that bad. I still have 2 teacher to tell and then I'm done. The thing is, the teachers can call me by my name that I use, except it's kinda stressful for them since it's hidden from my dad like, during parent meetings or for the report card, so I guess I understand, but he just has to not go to those meetings. Problems solved. Bathrooms aren't really a problem because I can hold it all in all day ( I used to not be able to but now it's good ) but I have PE tomorrow and I'll have to tell my PE teacher and idk how she'll react since I'm gonna be using the girl's locker room. I'll stop updating now lol. It's gonna become too long. I'll post a new thread if anything bad/good happens. Thx for reading! ^^
