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Is it better to come out formally?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by DandelionDagger, Sep 1, 2016.

  1. DandelionDagger

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Canada
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I'm not in a relationship right now, but I'd like to try to find a girlfriend soon. I live in a town where most of my extended family lives, including a particularly outspoken homophobe (one who I may add is not entirely unknown to have aggression issues and is a trained fighter...), and I'm basically nervous that I could be caught by him or my other family members in a romantic setting with a girl. But I'm not sure whether or not coming out formally to my extended family would make it much better, or perhaps if it would even make it worse.

    In your opinion, when it comes to extended family (so I'm not living in their houses and I'm not super close with them but we are still family and I'm sure they'll still have opinions and probably run into me a lot, which depending on how bad their opinions are of me, I worry could effect my safety), is it better to come out formally so there are no surprises, or is it better to just put it off until they literally see me in a romantic situation with a girl (kissing, on a date, etc)?
     
  2. AnguishXx

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Italy
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I would choose not to start any discussion, to avoid reply like "you came here proud, you want to disrupt our morality..." So if they found out, I could always say these are my own business.

    But that's just what I would do :slight_smile:
     
  3. soulcatcher

    Regular Member

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    Just come out casually. Although, how can you be agender and lesbian?
     
  4. DandelionDagger

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Non-binary people can still feel alignment with men or women, so a woman-aligned non-binary person could still call themselves a lesbian, although in the future it's probably not best to question people about their identity if it's not relevant to the topic.
     
    #4 DandelionDagger, Sep 1, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2016