Hi, just a heads up that this might be a lengthy post. I mostly just need to vent, and if anyone's online right now...some kind words would be nice. I'm crying right now. I haven't cried in a very long time. It's actually a good thing I think...it feels good to let out what's been bottled up for so long. I can't stop thinking about how I want to come out, especially to my family. I'm tired of just letting my life drift by me. On one of my last posts, someone mentioned that I should be "happy about being gay" before I do so. I don't know if I'll ever be happy about it, but I will say that I do like myself, and I wouldn't want to change the person who I am (which consequently, I think if I had been born straight I would be a COMPLETELY different person). Greg's thread about all the gay rights, and coming-out stories and whatnot really struck a chord with me. After watching a ton of coming-out youtube videos...I spoke to one of my gay friends about how I want to come out to my family. I guess the point of all this rambling is that tonight I reached a point where it stopped being a vague "I'm going to tell them"...and instead has shifted to "I'm going to tell my Mom, next weekend when I see her". Add to this thought a very poignant episode of Grey's Anatomy, and voila: I'm unable to stop crying. Well, truthfully...typing this has calmed me down. I've always heard that "you'll know when it's time"...well, it's time.
Good luck. This is a big step for you. Before I told my parents I knew that it was time. You will feel good when you tell them. It will be a big weight off of your shoulders.
When it's the right time,you'll know. I know it sucks living in a dark,cold closet. Yet,it is scary to come out,especially to your parents. I agree with Ed. It does lift a very heavy weight off of you. We only get one chance at life and we need to live it the way we were meant to. I wish you all the best on this hard & scary adventure. It will all be worth it,I promise.
When I was reading this I could have sworn you were in my shoes!!! Because literally yesterday THAT WAS ME!!! I had my “its time” moment. I was in class and we were discussing child development and gay and lesbian adoption and I just started to shake I don’t know what came over me. When I go back to my room I was crying nonstop. I sat down and wrote some letters and like you it felt so good to just get it all out even though I wasn’t talking to anyone it was just good to be able to see it on paper. So if you want to talk I’m here!
You sound just like me, as well. I used to be so "closeted" to the point that I didn't even believe that I was gay myself. But I have come a long way, in that I have now accepted me for myself--I've accepted my sexuality. But even though I have "came out" to myself, I still greatly fear coming out to anyone--even my closest friends. I'm so afraid of the repercussions. But I do realize that there will come a point where I will have to reveal myself to someone, at least. Who knows when that will happen? But I guess I'll just have to cross that bridge when I get there. But I must say that everyday I feel better and better about myself, and that comforts me because I know that it only means I am getting closer to "coming out." Because when I look back, I can see that I have come an extremely long way, and I know that it will get even better each day. What dosen't kill me will only make me stronger. So to get back to the topic of this post, I hope that one day I will get to the point where I'm ready to "come out." Anyone have any suggestions that may help me along the way?
:icon_redf Oh my. That means alot to me that the thread helped you! Im so happy for you. I know from personal experience that i really wished someone had been there to show me all those videos a few years sooner than i got to them. They helped me so much and im just glad i could return the favor! You seem ready though, even if you have your doubts (and you will, trust me). So stay strong, and anytime you need support just remember you can always lean on me and many other members here at EC (*hug*) drop me a pm anytime you get cold feet or just want to talk or need advice or whatever it is! And again, Good luck!
All the luck in the world when you tell your mum! I believe that accepting yourself is something that does take a while to build! I know that i thought id accepted it and then the following day it all crashes! I guess as time goes by, its just become easier to accept!
You are not alone in how you feel. I went through the same struggles. In fact, I hated that I was gay for so long. Once I accepted and embraced it, my life changed for the better. I have never been happier. You are right that you will know when the time has come to tell your family. That moment is different for everyone, and there is no magic for figuring out when it is. You just feel it is right. Having said that, you still may have to push yourself a bit and it likely will not be easy. I just told my brother last night and can now say from personal experience that doing it fells amazing!
Yes - only you will know when it's the right time. Not everyone gets to do it on their own schedule, but if you can, that's great. Good luck! I'm glad you've drawn some strength from this site. That's the whole point!
That sounds so familiar! I had this about two weeks ago and I was home and was virtually crying as well! Fortunately my parents where home and my brother was too (he knew already) so I told my brother I had to tell them and he helped me coming out, for everyone I think there is a point that they will want to come out and once u feel that do it because its such a relief!!!
Thanks for the encouragement guys. I'm feeling a bit better this morning...still a little shaky...and terrified at the prospect of what I'm planning to do....but I have a week to prepare myself (won't see my Mom until then). Thanks again.
That is sooo awesome, I wish all the best!! I still have not had that moment and lately I wonder if I ever will?
i hope it goes well! and it will! i wish i could have told my parents, but they forced me out. o well- at least its over with. not to mention i would have procrastinated about it... lol
