Hey everyone So since I found this place I've come out to 4 people. 3 close mates and one friend that found out through them. They were all great about it (!) . So I've been wondering who I should tell next, and If I actually need to tell them. Basically, out of the 4 mates that I've told, my best friend who i've known for 13 years was not included. There are many reasons why I didn't tell him. After a strange chain of events it ended up having a short talk about homosexuality, and it confirmed what he has said many times before, that "Gay's are wrong". Now most of the many times he's said things like this I've just blanked it out, but it started me wondering, what he would do if I actually did tell him. I heard of story's where people can completely change their mind once someone close to them comes out, and thats what I'm hoping for. I honestly doubt that he will ever truly accept it, but if we could still be friends that would be fine. In the last year of college now, and we're all going on holiday this summer before we move off the Uni. I'm afraid that if I tell him now it may ruin it for us. I probably should have told him first, but as my other mates said, they understand why I didn't aswell. But I think I need to, as theres only so much lying I can do. I should have support from my mates if something did go wrong though. I'm wondering if anyone else has been in this position, and how their friends reacted if they told them. Thanks
If it were me, I wouldnt do it before the holiday, or even while on holiday, I would leave it to after you come back. Hopefully you have enough time between the holiday and moving off to uni to allow for a bad reaction and a turn-around (Obviously I hope he just takes it well in the first place).
im in the same position my best mate of 4 years is really homophobic and its really hard to try and tell him im gay cos i think it will end the relationship it might not but he would never be as close i fear . i def know how ya feeling its so awkward prob is hideing it from him it makes it uneasy around him cos not knowing the real me kind of makes our friendship feel a sham
I don't really think that telling him on or just before the holiday would be a good idea - it'd mostlikely make things really awkward for both of you, and not only would you two not particularly enjoy it, your other friends would probably pick up on the awkward vibes too. My theory on coming out is that you should do it when you feel like staying closeted will hurt you more than coming out. Try thinking about that, and balancing how you feel about not being out to him with how you think he'll react when you do come out to hm. And good luck (*hug*)
it would be easier to tell him after the trip. but if u think u cant make it that long, do what u feel u should. and if hes been your best frind for 13 years, im sure that his view on gay ppl and homosexuality will change after u tell him. plus u have your other friends to back u up.
I was in your exact situation in highschool. Tell him. You will regret it if you dont. I didnt tell my freind and we drifted apart fast. If it helps have one of your firends who already knows there with you. Now when to do it. Thats your call. Do it after the holiday, Show him whoyou really are that way when you tell him, he has a whole holiday to look back at. or tell him before that way he can have a whole holiday to get used to part of a great friend he never knew was there.
