Hi. I'm going to try to tell my mom tomorrow. I was anxious to tell her a few days ago but I'm feeling more stressed about it now... I know I should start with something about how long I've felt this and such but I feel I can barely tell her without such preparation. It's not something she would ever guess. I can answer whatever questions she asks, I just hope she asks and doesn't try to answer with whatever she thinks. Any advice for this shy girl trying to become a not-shy girl from being a shy boy? I'm a mess
Hi yenica. Best of luck on your Coming Out to your mom tomorrow! It’s going to be a very emotional experience for you. After all, you are trusting your mom with some very personal and private information about who you really are! If you need preparation – notes, etc, use them. You might want to consider writing down what you intend to tell her on a piece of paper and have it with you in case your throat tightens up and you can’t really say it when the time comes – if that were to happen, you could just hand her the piece of paper. Just some thoughts: I don’t know you or your mom, obviously, but I just wanted to throw you some fairly common reactions to think about, if you haven’t already. If your mom’s initial reaction is some sort of denial (‘oh, you can’t know that!’, ‘you’re too young to really understand such things’, ‘those are your hormones talking’, or some other comment that you KNOW is false), just try to remain firm and repeat that you understand this about yourself – it is WHO you are. This Coming Out is about YOU – you are making yourself completely vulnerable to her while you anxiously await her reaction to your news, so don’t let her make this about herself. Also – and especially since you feel that she won’t see this coming in advance – be prepared for an initial reaction, but she may need time (a few days, a week, or possibly longer) to really process what you told her in her own mind. So, if she tells you that everything is fine at first, but then acts a little stand-offish towards you the next day or so, she may just be processing your information. Just like you had to come to terms with your own sexuality, she has to come to terms with having a trans daughter/new son. (You may also want to have some resources on-hand to help her understand what you are experiencing – certainly any relevant websites that you have undoubtedly checked out and found helpful and maybe even see if there is a PFLAG chapter nearby that you can get her in contact with so that she can become acquainted with other LGBTQ parents and family members, if she chooses to do so.) Of course, in the best case – the one all of us here at EC hope you get – she will simply tell you that it doesn’t matter to her, she loves you no matter what, gives you a great big hug and that will be that (minus the questions she is likely to have)! I truly hope everything goes the way you want it to! All of us here at EC are rooting for you!
Spot on! She asked what I wanted and that too. I couldn't get it out but she knew something was up and played the guessing game. (!) Thank you for your support!
Congratulations, yenica! That was extremely courageous of you! We are all so happy that it went to so well! Take care. Stay strong and proud!
