1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Sounds stupid

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by hoping, Mar 21, 2009.

  1. hoping

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2007
    Messages:
    472
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    australia
    I find it really hard to let people spend money on me and especially more so with my Boyfriend, i mean he makes alot of money and that but i dont care if he was worth a million or a cent but given he has money it makes it hard i guess that he doesnt let me pay for anything and he wants to buy everything and pay for everything. I mean i bought him a silver chain and a few shirts of his and my fav racing team and he said ''you know im getting you 2 or 3 times this much stuff'' and i honestly wish he wouldnt feel like he has to just buy me so much stuff, i dont need anything.
    I guess what has brought this up is the other day i was supposed to get $500 in the bank and with what i already had i should have had almost $700 but i went there yesterday and it said that i only had $380 and i need to not spend anymore until i get more money cause i have alot of other stuff to pay for and tomorrow i was suppoed to go with my guy shopping to this place he loves going and i like it to but everypart of it is designer stuff or just really expensive music and movie places and i know he would say that he would buy me this or that but i dont want him too and as im writing this it sounds fucking stupid but i dunno
     
  2. Greggers

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2008
    Messages:
    2,698
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    BC, Canada
    Hmm, i wonder why that is you cant let him buy stuff for you? Does it like....threaten your masculinity or pride or something? Could be you dont like to submit? I just dont understand this thinking, thats all :frowning2: not being offense or anything, im just a very submissive person. I would LOVE for someone to indulge on me.

    One thing to note, i read this article on the "6 ways people show love" and one of these ways IS buying things. Some people feel they NEEd to buy you things to show there love, its just how they express love. Some people hug, some people say it in words, and some people buy you things. If this is the case, id say let him. He obviously wants to and its actually helping HIM express his feelings so its not totally selfless in that sense.
     
  3. hoping

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2007
    Messages:
    472
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    australia
    I guess its cause i have always been the one who has payed for myself and alot of other people and i guess i really do like to buy other people things and im not used to people getting me things and like the other night we were in bed and he kissed me and he just said '' i want you to believe me when i say this you are perfect and dont think any less of yourself'' and its hard for me to see that too i guess, im just not used to getting compliments and getting gifts i guess.
    I really do understand that he shows his feelings through buying me things but its hard and on top of that he told me he would like me to live with him and the place he would want to be is a place on the water worth 1.2 million and i guess i would feel out of place cause im really not used to stuff like that and everyone he knows his rich
     
  4. Roxas101

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2009
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Canberra, Australia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Heh... And your complaining why?

    If this is his way of showing how much he loves you, indulge him. Let him know you appreciate him for it, but that you want to be able to stand on your own two feet as well. Try and find a happy medium between the two.

    Kaleb.
     
  5. Mickey

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2008
    Messages:
    1,669
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    Wow,you and I sound similar. I love being the one to pay for things,too. And I,too,have a hard time accepting someone else doing it.
    When you've always been a giver ,it's so hard to be on the receiving end.
    Just remember: it's not a game on who can do more for whom. Just be the person you are,but let him be able to feel that way,too. I know it's hard to accept this when it's always been the other way around,but let him be the giver,too.
    I think it's so nice for him to want to please you and make you happy. Now,let him feel the same happiness ,too,by accepting that he is a giver,too.