Every year for the past several years my whole family on my moms side (which is huge) go over to my cousin Kevins house for the 4th of July. We have dinner and then eat homemade ice cream while watching the fireworks. Kevin is the cousin who disowned me he hasn't spoken to him since I told him I was gay. I have went from angry, to hoping that if I email him he will actually email me back and calling hoping he would answer to now I'm at the point where I'm just sad that I lost my relationship with him. I decided that this would be the final test: if he invited me like he always has before then maybe our relationship stood a chance, if not then I would just go on with my life and give up trying to talk to him. Unfortunately he failed my test I wasn't invited. Instead of being with my family on the 4th of July I will be with a friend. for the first time in the last 7 or 8 years I have been pushed aside. this has really made me upset I know I shouldn't let it bother me but it does. I now know that he really doesn't want me around him.
Wow, that's really terrible, I'm so sorry to hear that. It seems silly that your cousin's feelings should get in the way of you seeing the rest of your family. But, at least you now know the truth, and can move on. I'm really sorry though. :'(
im really sorry. my family is huge too but no one gets along so i kinda kno what its like. one half of one side i have about probably over 150 cousins but i dont kno any of them. i just kno i have good friends and stuff. hope things work out and get better
I'm very sorry to hear that, biloved. I hope that he comes around someday. Have a blast w/ your friend on the 4th of July! Take heart in the positives!
Well does the rest of your family support you? Crash the party! They wouldn't let him kick you out would they? Or just show up and try to talk to him in person. I'm a rebel when it comes to my dads side of the family. I'd never let a cousin treat me like that. Of course i don't really value my relationships with my dad's family at all so when they said i was a sinner i'm just like o well didn't like any of you anyway. now i havce a good reason to skip family gatherings... Good luck though! I hope you can sort things out. He's very immature to let your sexuality get in the way of your relationship! It's sad, but if he feels that way do you really value your relationship with him?
well the rest of my family seems to be ok with my being gay. Its his house though and although I would love to just show up I just don't want to cause any drama and besides it wouldn't be too fun to have him give me bad looks and ignore me all night, that would just make me feel worse about the whole situation.
I can relate to what you are going through. It is not exact, but similar. I have a friend who hasn't talked to me since I told her I was gay. She is one of my best friends (known her for 14 years). It is really sad. And I can pray and hope she will come around, but I have to realize that if she doesn't, it is truly her problem to work out, not mine. In the meantime, I am sad, hurt, and angry. Even though I know I can't, I want to just shake her until she "gets it". Take heart! There will be those who shun and other who will accept and even others who will support and move you along in your journey of life. I know what I am saying is true, but I saying it out of faith that it will play out in my life too.
I think I would call Kevin up and tell him how hurt you are that you haven't been invited. Or maybe get your parents to do it! I tell you what if my son wasn't invited to a family gathering, I'd boycott too!
Wouldn't it be funny if absolutely NOBODY showed up for Kevin's famous 4th of July party!?!? That would be way better than crashing it. I'm not advocating that you lobby your whole entire family to boycott it - but the mental image of all that potatoe salad going to waste made me chuckle, so I thought I'd share it!
My cousin called me today and by the sound of his voice he PAINFULLY invited me to his house for 4th of July. what do you think, is he trying to make an effort or do you think the only reason why he invited me was because he felt obligated or guilty.
It may be the former, though I expect that it is really the latter. Nonetheless, he has extended his hand. Reach out to him at the gathering, maybe through learning he will come to understand and respect you more.
Either way, you were invited. Go and be your authentic self. You can enjoy the time with the rest of the family and he'll see that your being gay is really no big deal.
