I'm 14 years old and have decided that I'm either gay or bisexual, but can't decide which one. I can say I'm not straight with certainty, though. All of that, though, is for another thread, I'm here because I think I should tell my parents what I'm going through. I've shown signs of being gay since the 4th or 5th grade but I was too young to know what they meant. Recently, I was really stressed because I couldn't figure out if I was gay or straight, and I was really stressed out and not paying attention in school. But, I've realized I'm not straight after some memories resurfaced and a little research. I thought I might've been going through a "gay phase" as people put it, and that's what made me thing I might've been straight. It took me a while to realize that searching up how long a gay phase lasts would give me the answer I'm looking for. Turns out that if you think you've had a gay phase for more than a year or two, then it's probably not a gay phase. So it wasn't a gay phase and now I'm either gay or bisexual. I really think I should tell my parents about what I'm going through, they deserve to know. They are supporters of the gay rights movement, which is super nice. I mostly know this because of one event. In 1st and 2nd grade I was a part of my local cub scouts, and I enjoyed it a little. But abruptly around the end of 1st or 2nd grade (can't remember which) my parents pulled me out of it but wouldn't tell me why. Turns out, cub scouts followed the bible, and since the bible said homosexuality is bad, cub scouts thought it was bad. My parents told me this a few years later after me constantly asking to go back tocub scouts. So should I tell them what I'm going through? That I think I'm gay, but might be bi? I know they'd support me, but I don't know if I should tell them before I know with certainty what I am. I do know, for sure, I'm gay or bisexual.
Hi Geekcube, it sounds like you've been working hard to resolve the question of who you are. So congratulations on reaching this point where you're now at. This is a huge step you've taken. And it's very brave of you to have shared your thoughts here on EC. From what you say about your parents, it sounds like they'll be understanding and supportive of you. So if you think it's a good idea, then go for it. Maybe give it some thought about how and when you want to tell them; if you're really impatient and also nervous, maybe just tell them by saying: "Mum. Dad. I'm gay or bisexual." Or do you want to tell each of them individually? But it sounds like you feel really comfortable about yourself so maybe you want to make it a special moment and tell them when you're all doing something special. I don't know, tell them you want to take them out for an ice cream or something and let them know you've got something really special to tell them. It depends if you feel up to doing it like that. But you've got nothing to be ashamed of. And it sounds like you've got really smart parents who might be unhappy if they thought you were hiding something so important from them. I'm a parent and one of the hardest things is when I realise something is bothering one of my kids but they don't want to talk about it with me. We all want our kids to be happy and to know we are there for them - so why not give your parents the chance to be there for you. And you can be really proud of yourself right now. You've achieved a lot in the last few days and all of us here on EC wish you all the best.
I want to tell them at the same time, they're both equally important to me and equally deserve to know. I thought I could possibly tell them tonight during dinner. Normally, my sister is the first one to finish and leave (most of the time) which just leaves my parents and I. This, in my opinion, is the best time to tell them. BUT As I was planning this earlier, my mom tells me that my Grandma and Aunt are coming over for dinner, both highly religous, and I feel totally uncomfortable telling them. I really won't have the chance again to tell them over dinner for a while so I might just end waiting. Of course I'm freaking out on the inside just thinking about telling them. I know they won't have a problem, it's just... weird. I also don't think I'm brave enough to ask them if we could go get ice cream or something and then tell them once we're there. Like I said, it's weird. I feel slightly bad about trying to keep this from my twin sis, as well, but she isn't very discreet so I think I should just tell my parents first. Also, thanks for all the help with this. I've been thinking really hard since I joined EC, and even before I joined EC. It hasn't just been a 3 day thing like it seems to be. I'm glad, though I finally am starting to figure out who I really am.
I think you're doing the right thing by waiting for the right moment. you have every right to choose who you come out to and also when and how you come out. And of course it's weird, after all your sexuality is something very personal and intimate. So do what feels right for you. I'm glad the comments on here have helped you.
From what you've written, it looks like the rewards would outweigh the risks in this case. Couldn't hurt to share what you're going through, even if you're not sure. It'll probably be mutually beneficial for both you and your parents. Decent parents love to know what's going on in their kids minds. I'm sure you'll work out a way to get them alone soon. Just my opinion. Side note: You're very articulate for your age. Good work.
I'd say that you should tell your parents without even freaking about it, they're LGBT supportive after all ! They'll support you, and help you finding towards which gender you are attracted. But I suggest you to NOT tell your Aunt, nor your Grandma, unless they accept LGBT stuff.
