So last week my sister got married to this awesome guy, but ever since we started planning and even up to and after the wedding, I keep getting asked when my wedding is going to be. My sister did things unconventionally (color in dress, at a park, was going to be outside in winter, etc.) and people were saying "I'm sure you'll do yours differently." I'm sick of getting asked about my wedding, when it may never be legal for me TO marry. I don't know how to get them to back off anymore. I've tried saying that if I do get married it won't be for a long time, or that I may never get married. All I hear in return is "It's ok you'll find someone. The average age for getting married is going up" or "Don't be so negative, of course you'll get married." This is more of a rant than anything else, but I don't know how to stay sane with all of these questions and comments without blurting that it if I had someone, it would currently be illegal to marry them. It's getting really old.
Unless you're ready to come out to all these people the best thing is to just deal with the comments. Or you could say that you don't believe in marriage. I agree it's annoying, I have many people asking me if I have a boyfriend, or if there's a guy in my life. I just tell them I'm focusing on school right now, when I'm done with school, I'll say I'm focusing on teaching.
The same thing happens to me... last week my brother got married and I had to put up with silly comments such as 'When you get married, you'll see how awesome it is' or 'I'm gonna wear the same suit to your wedding'. I usually say that I don't believe in marriage (after all, in my family most marriages ended in divorces) and that I don't need to sign a piece of paper to show that I love someone. The usual response is 'you're too young, you'll change your mind once you meet the perfect girl'. I just roll my eyes and go on with my life.
Well, if it helps, its always going to be Legal to marry in Canada? And slowly but surly the states are on that track too. If you do meet someone, dont worry so much about the marriage thing. Cause if you truly want to get married to that person, NOTHING is stopping you. You can go to a state were it is legal, you can escape to canada, you will find a way to do it. Dont see of it so much as a wall as just a simple speed bump. If you want to get over that speed bump, you will have the power to.
"I've decided there's no point in planning my wedding until I know who's going to be in it." That should shut them up. Lex
Surprisingly, I've never been asked about my own marriage. I do get the girlfriend question a lot, though, which is equally annoying to handle when you're not out.
I don't think many guys get asked about their wedding. It really is a girl thing. You could just tell these people that you're gay. Alternatively, you could point out how insensitive their questions are - because if you were in fact upset over the fact that you weren't married and didn't have a prospecitve groom their comments would be very hurtful. THAT might shut them up and cause them to ask a totally tactless question the next time one comes to mind. Because girls and guys, straight and gay, don't actually like being asked why they don't have a bf/gf yet. It's simply rude - but I assume they keep asking because nobody has actually pointed out to them that it is rude...
I'd just say "I've not found my soul mate just yet, and until I do, I won't speculate on when it will happen"
My response to the wedding/marriage question is, "I'll get married just as soon as it's legal for me to do so."
I get the question about girlfriends and marriage too. I really want to say...well, I'm not sure what gives you the right to ask about my private life, but as we are I assume its ok to ask about yours...how is your sex life? I think that would shut them up. Remember, it is your life and you dont have to answer their questions...its your business not theirs.
my family keep saying when you get married you cant do that or when your married youll have too...yea...about that :S
