I told one of my friends that I am gay. He laughed and said that there were three reasons why I couldn't be gay. He said 1) He said that unless I'm attracted to big, burly, hairy men then I'm not really gay because that is what most men are. 2) He said that since I'm timid that I would never get a date since men don't like that quality in other men even as friends let alone as a lover. 3) He said that since I have never been in any kind of relationship at all that I don't know for sure whether I am gay or not. What do you think of this? I know for a fact that I like men, the thing is that I only like thinner kinds of men whether they have any muscles or not just so long as they aren't too tubby, like having a big spare tire, a little flab is alright. I know I am timid but I've seen plenty of straight couples who have been together for a while where one of them is timid so why can't it work for me? I'm not some kind of shut-in, I'm just a little shy when meeting people. I know how I feel and even though I've never been in a relationship, I know that I am gay. I've felt this way since the 7th grade so I highly doubt it is just a "phase". Is my friend right or is he just spouting off nonsense.
same boat as me, i dont think flab or hair is attractive, and i love the jockie guys because athleticism is masculine, not the other way around, and ive never been in a real relationship, had a semi serious gf in high schoool, but we only kissed, and guess what mate....im def gay, you may find a girl attractive here or there, i do, but i would much rather be with a dude, i think your friend was trying to justify for him self
If you know that you're gay, then your gay. I'm sure you know that better than your friend. Let's go through his reasons: 1) He said that unless I'm attracted to big, burly, hairy men then I'm not really gay because that is what most men are. Lots of guys aren't big, burly, or hairy. If you were only allowed to be attracted to them, then that would mean that no small or skinny or hairless man would have a girlfriend/wife. But that's not true. 2) He said that since I'm timid that I would never get a date since men don't like that quality in other men even as friends let alone as a lover. Who you're attracted to is not determined by how convenient it is. Even if you couldn't get any dates, that wouldn't turn you away from men. 3) He said that since I have never been in any kind of relationship at all that I don't know for sure whether I am gay or not. Look at it from the other way. Straight people almost never question their sexuality even before they have sex. So don't worry about it.
It's up to what you feel, not what he says. Who is he to tell you what your sexuality can or cannot be?
Your friend is seriously misinformed and is giving you cliched (and wrong) arguments, and some that are just nonsense. If you like men then you like men. It doesn't matter what type of man you like, or what type of man you are. It also doesn't matter what level of expeience you have with dating them or going out with them or having sex with them.
Exactly, I mean YOU know YOU best and so don't listen to what other people tell you! And nothing wrong being LGBTQ or even straight or WHATEVER, you're a human being and that's all that matters to me! Hope you sorted this problem (*hug*)(*hug*)
That is flat out wrong. I am very strongly attracted to the shy timid type. I find once they trust you and open up they have wonderful personalities. In fact if you were in Austin I would PM you right now and ask to meet for coffee. By the way incase you friend ever gets confused again I am him this handy little chart. Code: I like/ (Same Sex) (Different Sex) I am --------------------------- Gay | x | | Straight | | x | Bi | x | x | ---------------------------
He's totally wrong on all counts. A smaller, less hairy guy is no less a man than the burly hairy type, and being attracted to either one of those types means you're attracted to men. As a girl, I know I'd want a partner who's more quiet and introspective, and I know heaps of guys feel the same way. And if straight people know they're straight before having any experience, gay people can as well.
I would just say What the Heck! to your friend right now... He clearly does not know what he is talking about... Your choice in men is actally easier to find in gays I find... lol. I did date girls in high school. I am not timid... but you just know these things... I was dating girls to cover up what I really was... subconsciously probably... If the thoughts are there, and you told a friend, you are most likely gay.... My advice, do not blame your friend for thinking this and do not get mad at him... It will be just something he will understand over time in watching you do what you do. Do not let his thoughts make you question yourself more than you already did! Just hold in there and maybe see if you can find other friends who actually believe you as well... I believe you if that counts for anything . Best wishes, Rob
It seems to me that your friend has never met a gay person (besides yourself). Obviously, you know yourself more than he does, and if you say you are gay, well then I believe you. I've never been in any kind of relationship and I can tell you that I am, infact, interested in women.
>>>I told one of my friends that I am gay. He laughed and said that there were three reasons why I couldn't be gay. He said 1) He said that unless I'm attracted to big, burly, hairy men then I'm not really gay because that is what most men are. 2) He said that since I'm timid that I would never get a date since men don't like that quality in other men even as friends let alone as a lover. 3) He said that since I have never been in any kind of relationship at all that I don't know for sure whether I am gay or not. What do you think of this? I think it's funny as hell that straight people think they know more about gay people than gay people do. 1. Being gay means you like guys. That's dictionary definition right there. The definition does NOT say "Gay men like big, burly, hairy men." It says they like men. And whether those men are big, small, muscular, fat, skinny, hairy, or clean shaven doesn't come into play at all. And frankly, if gay men only liked big, burly, hairy men, then gay porn would look a lot different... 2. There's a glimmer of truth here. The more timid you are, the more opportunities for dates will be missed. But it doesn't mean that timid guys never get dates. Timid guys date, timid guys get boyfriends, timid guys get laid. They just might not do it as often as those who are more confident. 3. Sorry, I was pretty sure I was gay long before I had sex, or entered a relationship. I didn't have to "confirm" it with a roll in the hay with a guy. Most straight people tend not to need that confirmation, and I don't think gays do, either. Lex
ok, so i think your friend is on crack. just tell him what every1 else said. hell have to reconsider.
I'd go with the he's on crack theory. That doesn't even make sense because you don't need to be in a relastionship to know your type. And uh...I'm sorry, but not all men are "big and burly." Your friend is wrong.
1) Ask him if he's attracted to middle aged and bland looking women. Afterall, that's what most women are like. 2) Is a straight guy gay because he might be shy around women? 3) Instinctively, he knew he was straight and that's why he dates girls. He wouldn't date a guy because he might be gay and to find out. You're gay. He's in denial.
