GDay Everyone! That might be a bit stereotypical but oh well. Hope you don't mind. Anyway, I have been on here posting privately with a couple of people and thought it was about time I tried to post on here for a few things. So long story short, I moved to a new state last year which basically started me accepting myself/coming out. Through my work and my love of the country/outback, rural areas and wide open spaces I have moved around about 5 times in the past year throughout regional areas and am now about 500kms for the nearest main city. I really like the town for now and talking to a couple of people but am always worried what would happen if they found out my sexuality. So my questions are: how do you know someone well enough to come out to them? Should most people not know? I want to live in a small country town but what precautions should I take if any? I don't really go out to the pub atm as I feel that may not be the safest place at the moment. In my job I have to work with the townsfolk and create connections to get them onside for my project (I'm the only one from the organisation working here). Does that mean I should not say anything as it could affect my job? Am I thinking about this too much? Apologies for the long message. Just had a few things floating around my head. I know I am still really young so maybe I shouldn't be thinking about this? Thanks Everyone for the great site,
Well, honestly, because of this project you're involved in, I think you should keep your orientation as private as possible, just in case, especially if the area you're in is super conservative. I personally don't think it is necessary to just announce your sexuality unless asked. Heterosexuals don't have to make an announcement about their orientation, so why should non-heterosexuals have to? It's unfair, really. I would only tell someone about my sexual orientation if they ask first and if I trust them enough. Now, if you're for some reason asked about your orientation and don't want to tell the truth, I think I'd just say that it doesn't matter, or straight-up lie if you think it could affect your job. It's the best I can do to help. Good luck. I hope you find comfort in your new location.
Caecilian65, Whether or not you Come Out to anyone is totally your choice. Having said that, in your situation, why would you choose to Come Out at this time? You don't say that you have a bf and it sounds like you aren't likely to find one in the type of small town you describe. And, of course, it could be physically dangerous to you if the town you are in harbors homophobes that are willing to use violence.:icon_sad: Personally, I stayed in the closet until age 50 because I truly enjoyed my career. That was my personal choice. My decision to Come Out was mainly based on the fact that I was changing the manner in which I lived my life - i.e. I want to be able to date men or women freely, but I don't want to suddenly shock my close friends. Otherwise, I don't see any reason that I would have felt it necessary to clarify my sexual orientation to ANYONE. Just my two cents. Take Care. Stay strong and proud!
Thanks Everyone for all the great advice! Been a bit busy recently with lots of reports to write which is a necessary part of my job but hard to get rid of the city/urban centre-label when you sit there in a local community building typing and printing. I think I need to try and find a balance between the hihg-stress job that I enjoy doing something else. However, yes I think the safest is to not be out there at all. I am in a relationship at the moment but that's long-distance and nowhere near this town. Albeit still a small town though. I think I have a few other friends queries that I will add to another thread but thanks for your thoughts. Sometimes you just need to through ideas around somewhere even if you kinda what to do. It is sometimes hard to say if it is homophobic but am guessing "that's so gay!"/"that's gay" being common language with most people including those I supervise probably says something.. Hope that all makes sense and thanks for your supportive words!
