Ok, a serious, but curious post. I need to come out to my husband. That's the serious bit. I don't have a clue what my first words should be to even spark the conversation. So, I'm curious, how did you start your 'coming out' conversations? And what should mine be?
I wouldn't have any experience as a married person, but the way my coming out conversation began as I was speaking about a friend of mine who identified as trans, and then my mother asked me the question "do you identify as trans?" and I got tired of lying about it. it's not totally applicable to your situation, but I personally find it easier to answer a question than start a conversation.
This is a hard one because every person is unique and every journey is unique. My coming out to my wife came during a place of pain and emotional crisis. I was sobbing at the time. I started with "I'm gay." The vast majority of my coming out speeches have basically started that way. I think it rips the Band-Aid off right at the beginning. Leading up to it seems pointless to me, and leaves the person that many more times to be confused or wondering where you're going as you dance your way to the moment. Since you have to get to that moment eventually, why not start there?
Definitely. Even a "what's wrong?" question would start the ball rolling!! ---------- Post added 18th Sep 2016 at 08:08 AM ---------- I've imagined various speeches and how they begin. Most of them start with "I'm gay". I just can't find the right time, scenario to blurt it out. The one thing that I know will happen, is that I'm going to be made to be the bad guy. It happens every day when something goes wrong. And i don't want to be the bad person. I want to be proud of who/what I am.
My husband knew I had something going on and I wouldn't tell him. Instead of saying I'm gay I said I wasn't attracted to men. Still worked and got the job done. Be honest and open that's all the advice I could give you.
Wow, tough one. Just wanted to comment because I will probably have to do this soon, myself. I want to follow this thread. I'm not married legally, but I've been in a monogamous relationship with a man for close to 10 years and we live together. Thank you for posting this. I'll check out everyone else's replies. I wish you the best in your journey. Rosa
