warning: it's long so please bear with me. thanks i've been having so many fights and frictions with my mom these days, and it's really starting to straining our relationship. first of all, she's a total complete study freak. i only took SAT last Saturday, and now i want to relax and quit studying for a while until the score comes out, which is april 7th. but my mom told me why i'm not studying? Im like wtf are you talking about. it hasn't been a week since i took the test, and i've been studying this for 4 months, so i don't want to study again just right now. and then she just flipped out and told me how i never study enough and all that crap. BULLSHIT. im a straight A student, and im always the first or second best student in our entire junior class. i never cause trouble, and generally i am a good son. but she just takes that for granted and tells me that i never study enough, while everyone else does. BULLSHIT. no one in sane mind would study when it's only been like a week since they took the stressful test. second, she has a depression and many bodily ailments. she does have a depression for like 4 years now, and she takes medicine. she also has insomnia problem so she takes pills for that too. plus, she has lots of problems in her body...like shoulder, and her knee and...just stuff like that. so my sister and i have to take care of her a lot. it's not like she can't no anything. she can do stuff, but she gets tired all the time, and her depression+insomnia problems makes her very sensitive. she wasn't this crazy sensitive biatch 4 years ago. but she's changed so much. she doesn't have any friends. she stays in home all the time, except she does go out for a class few days. so since she doesn't have any one else to talk to, she leans on my sister and i. well i understand why she does that, and as her kids, we do have responsibility to take care of her, try to hang out with her and all that. but that requires a lot of energy and time. we can't go out and hang out with our own friends because of our mom, and it's really getting exhausting. it wouldnt be so stressful if she was normal, but her depression and ailments makes her so sensitive and annoyed that almost all conversation turns into a fight. few hours ago, she had another hysteria. she threw a magazine on a floor, thew my clothes, and she just yelled at me. f*** i went out with my sister 2 hours ago, and we're just talking, and my sister said she too was getting tired of taking care of my mom. for four years in college, my sister has been taking care of my mom, and it is perfectly understandable that she feels that way. she said that she really was tired of my mom, and she now decided to care less about mom so she can live her own life. my sister is moving out this september (she's going to a dental school in NYC) so for the first time in my life, so very soon im going to be all alone with my mom. til now, there was my big sister i could depend on, but now that she's moving out, it's just me and crazy mom. im so scared. i don't think im gonna be able to handle her craziness. im gonna be stuck with her for another few years, at least im a sophomore in college because of personal reasons i dont want to say, but it is decided that way. so it's not like i can deal with her one more year in highschool. i can't live in dorm so im gonna live with her....aghhhhhh:bang: i don't know what to do. she's still really really angry and hysteric right now, and it really makes me sad and angry at the same time. it's just so hard dealing with her. she doesn't try to understand my feelings, and she doesn't get she's being a total bitch. i told her that, and she said she doesn't WANT to understand nor does she will understand. she told me i am terrible ignorant stupid and selfish and rude. im just so angry....:bang: any advice? thanks for listening....i wrote too much...:icon_sad:
depression really messes with your head i know it stresses you when it starts getting to much step out for 5 mins have some fresh air
I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. (*hug*) That is a lot for a young man to take in. Is there anyone else in your family that can help you, like your dad, uncle, or aunt? Also is she receiving any state or federal disability (Social Security Disability or Medicaid) due to her depression? If she is she may be eligible to receive some in home care or extra assistance to help take care of her.
no, i don't live with my dad. (my mom and dad aren't divorced...it's complicated.) i only see my dad during summer and winter break, which really sucks, cuz if he was there, it would be much easier to deal with her. and nope, she is not receiving any federal/state help. well not that i know of... but she is taking medications. anyway, thanks. she is still being hysterical, and my head is starting to hurt now. ugh she needs to stop acting like a total biatch cuz im gonna explode if she doesn't stop.:bang::bang::bang:
You may want to find out. Let me put it this way, does she have private insurance or is it through the state? Also talk to your dad and tell him what is going on. He, your sister and you might want to talk to someone about getting some help. There are services out there, you may just need to look. You are a teenager and should not have to watch over your mom.
No problem. I work on the insurance industry and one of the things we do is help people find ways to get help when they need it. I live in Massachusetts but I bet NY has similar services.
EM68 is right there are almost certainly organisations or associations which can help you care for your mum. For her unreasonable outbursts try to take them for what they are... unreasonable outbursts. Diffuse the situation. When you know your mum is being unreasonable DO NOT try to reason with her, it is useless, tiring and mires you down in negative energy. Just say 'OK mum, I'm on it, don't worry'. If she goes on and on and won't drop it then just tune out. Don't ignore her because this will just make things worse, just let her say what she wants to say, tell her that you hear her, will think about what she has said and then just get on with your life. The unreasonable demands of your mother are obviously coming from some deep seated worry or fear, wether justified or not is another question. Is there a theme to her demands, like always coming back to your studies, or housework, or bills? From what you say here it is your studying that worries her. Try to reassure her that everything is fine at school, that your advisors have told you to balance your studies with your social life... or something in that vein because even if they haven't told you this then they should have. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!
