(before I say anything, my mom is not being malicious towards me (its a long story)) Today I was talking to a relative, who I happen to be on very good terms with. He's like a stepfather to me almost. Anyway, so I was talking to him today and the topic of spirituality and religion came up. On this topic, I have VERY different beliefs than most of my relatives (I'm more liberal and openminded, while some of my family is very close minded and old-fashioned. By that I mean racist, homophobic, etc. He happens to be like me) He kept hinting to something to what I believe is my homosexuality. Keep in mind, I have not come out to anyone related to me besides my direct family (my mom and sister). The only person I'd really think who would give away the secret is my mom. I believe this because we had a talk about coming out to my grandparents (you know, the ones that'll hate me when they find out?), and was brought up the relative in question from time to time, I want to ask my mom if she told him, but I dont know what to say. How do I ask her if she did?
If you're not entirely sure, and also not really ready to tell him that you're gay, I'd say just ignore the topic lest you accidentally out yourself. Likewise if you'd be comfortable if he knew, I'd just say be straightforward and be like "Is mom saying something?" but in a not-so-aggressive way (I know, that question does come off as aggressive, lol)
Yeah, I guess so long as he's not blatantly saying it, you could just continue as if nothing happened, as it's not his business to press you about it if you haven't initiated a conversation about it. If he is talking about it in a very direct, obvious way, and it's clear that he knows and that he knows you know he knows, then you could ask him how he found out. Otherwise, you could just talk to your mom about it. It doesn't have to be confrontational, maybe just mention the conversation to your mom and how you thought it was weird and say "You didn't tell him by any chance, did you?" and then go from there.
I would just ask your mom, it doesnt have to be a fight necessarily.. something like, hey I was talking to mike the other day and he was saying.... any chance you might have let it slip? Obviously replace mike with the actual name, unless I magically guessed it Just remember, even if she did, you have the right to be mad, but that doesnt mean you have to be mad. Either way I hope it goes well, and let us know if you have any other questions, or if you just need to vent because of this.. That is why we are here
Hi there! This is only advice, so don't feel forced to do what I'm about to say, but I would maybe ask your mom to talk with her in private for a minute. Then, just ask her; it's not like the world will end or anything. Honestly, only come out to your extended family when you are ready. Good luck!
"hey mom, you didn't happen to tell xyz that I was gay did you?". Sometimes people just bring things up on their own without being told. My sister just got divorced and my grandmother didn't know when I was on the phone with her. She was asking about how my sister's family situation has been. I thought she knew something but nope. Just ask your mom, I doubt she'd be offended.
