Hello, all: I am new here and looking for a safe place to connect with others like me, and share my story. Thanks so much for letting me post. I'm in a complicated situation. I'm 30, and I have always struggled with an attraction toward women. I usually repress it, and a little over a year ago, I decided not to repress it anymore. Now I'm identifying as gay (lesbian / pansexual) in the back of my mind, but to very few people. As we all know, figuring out who to come out to and how feels like a difficult aspect of all this. Making it even more difficult is that I've been in a monogamous relationship with a man for almost 10 years, which means I've been passing as straight for much of my life. I never really realized that's what I was doing, but now I acknowledge I was afraid to be myself. I really don't know what to do, what to think, and I'm scared. I'm envious of folks who are able to be themselves early on in life, and I feel like I really missed the boat by waiting this long to express myself. What really pushed me into realizing I had to do something, was when gay marriage was legalized. I felt so filled with emotion and a voice in my head said, "Finally, now I can marry a woman if I want." I was shocked by my own realization in that moment. I am desperate to live authentically, and just looking for a way to do that, as we all are. I hope perhaps I can meet and share with locals, but if not, this website will surely help a lot. I look forward to chatting with you all. Any thoughts, advice, etc., is much appreciated. Many thanks, Rosa
