Support Groups

I attend PFLAG meetings. Its been a great help to me. I love all of your guys here on EC but its good to talk to someone face to face. Everyone there is so friendly and not judgmental. Also what ever is said is kept confidential.

Good Luck!

 

I attended a couple of meetings for the 'Gay Fathers of Toronto' support group. It was pretty low key. It was obvious that I was new, but I was made to feel welcome and I wasn't forced to say anything that I didn't want to.

Just go and try it. And even if you don't really enjoy it today, try it again. Being around people that share some of your life experiences (where nobody else you've been with has) is a really comforting thing. Good luck! Let us know how it goes.

 

I'm looking into a few that are around where I live.

Not sure how I will fare, if I do go, but I need to start somewhere.

 

I'm going along to a group this Wednesday for the first time. Its a group run by the Healthy Gay Life project... bit nervous about it, but Ive met the link worker already and he was great. Lets both go for it!!!!

 

I'm so glad other people are looking into support groups. I've spent the evening trying to find more information on my local group, just speaking on the phone about being gay has proved how much I'm not ready for this step. But if you guys can do it, I'll do it too.

 

I go to Blah, which is a LGBT group for under 25s. I'm still relatively new and I was terrified at first because I'm not very good with people... But it's acrually really fun and friendly. We just sit around drinking tea. Then a load of us go to the pub after.

 

i too am currently looking for supoprt groups allthough i think it will be hard in my city for fear of people finding out who i know and theyre not understanding i dont understand which is all of them actually lol

 

ij i found like one supoprt group website in my city and its under construction...great oh well alone again lol

 

:smilewave Hi Adam - keep looking!!!!!

It wasn't an instant thing but I eventually found three different groups in my area that catered for me (not just young guys), and I've now joined them all! (!)(!)(!)

They're not all on the same theme, which is good because it makes it more interesting. I was really apprehensive before I went, but I made myself go so that I would benefit. They're all totally friendly and fun guys who are there for me if I need support or advice.

There has been a bonus too, which I hadn't forseen. I hadn't really been around gay guys as such before, but with joining these groups I'm becoming much more comfortable and relaxed in the company of my fellow gay men.

So do keep looking, Adam my friend. I just kept 'googling' loads of phrases like 'gay support group', 'gay friendship group', and 'gay social group'; adding my area too. Then I followed all of the links to other sites that I found in the various web-sites my searches took me to. Just keep trawling around, Adam - and try to resist 'pre-judging' any groups you locate before you've actually tried them. But I always communicate by e-mail first to get more details as a safeguard (I'd recommend you might do the same).

In fact there's one group I've joined that I very nearly discounted immediately I saw it! It's a gay 'dance' group - and the dancing is 'Scottish Country Dancing'!!!!!!!!!!!! No, I'm not Scottish and I don't live anywhere near Scotland! But I decided I'd go along anyway to find out what it was like. They're a really friendly, great group of gay guys; and we also go out for something to eat together (as friends and to support each other) after the 'dancing' finishes. Do you know what, Adam? It has become my favourite group, and I can't wait for Thursday evenings to arrive each week!!! Besides, where else can I go that's totally safe, to hold hands and dance close with loads of different guys in a night!!!!!!!! I'd never done that before either!!!!!! (!)(!)(!)(!) It has been really helping me to exploring my own gay identity, and to learn better how to 'relate' to my fellow gay men.

I hope you can find some groups to try soon, Adam. I'm sure they'll help you if you give them a fair try.

As for the concerns you have around being 'recognised' accessing one of these groups, well there are sometimes other alternatives. Ok, the dance group meet in a church hall; and we go to a High Street burger restaurant afterwards - so that is really quite 'public' and identifyable I suppose. However, I travel a way to access that one so it's not close to my home or anything. But the other two groups I belong to hold their 'club' evenings in various members' homes (strictly voluntary with absolutely no pressure to hold one at your own home). We meet and chat over tea, coffee, etc., and a small buffet. We're just there to support and be a friend to each other. There's no 'pairing off' happening at all, and it is not allowed anyway because it's not the aim of the group. So, in this case it remains fully discreet and anonymous to the 'outside (straight) world'; and no danger of being accidentally 'outed' as a result of attending.

So, Adam, maybe some ideas there for you; and some encouragement too I hope!

Take care my friend and good luck. Kayar.

 

thanks kayar your post means alot

 

Meeting new people, meeting people who you may interact with a lot more in the future (maybe even date) can be a bit unnerving. I was afraid I would be shunned for being "too straight" or for not knowing enough about musicals. The fears proved groundless. The people in these organizations overwhelmingly tend to be positive, insightful, fun individuals who want to chat among their peers about stuff that others just don't seem to understand. The people come from all walks of life it seems. When it comes to issues of gender and whatnot, opinions are refreshingly well researched and based on solid logic. The ode could go on ...

Hopefully that will be enough to seal the deal on you going out to one such group - the experience is certainly worth it.

 

Hey Tez, support groups are really great places where although it can be quite scary at first, they are very welcoming and as they say; supportive. Last year when i started accepting being gay i didnt know anyone who was gay either and the support group proved to be a good starting point. If you do decide to go, let us know how it goes.(*hug*)