Hi! Well, Ive been infatuated with a friend of mine (girl), for about 2.5 years now. I have tried pretty hard to get over her, but I know if I convince myself she hates me I'll probably cry myself to sleep for ages, and I dont particularly look foward to that. I'm not blind to her faults either. I couldn't call it love unless I knew her better - I drifted away because I was frightened of what I felt, and getting jealous of boyfriends. I can't shake the idea that if I told her I cared somewhat more than platonically she wouldnt be repulsed by it. I dont know what to do. The idea of telling her I like her is stuck in my head and is distracting me from everything else. Please, offer your advice and experience from past crushes, and I will be very grateful. Cheers! P.S. And if you agree I tell her, how to go about it? This is what the note might look like - Sound ok to you? Will edit it if necessary. Dear. I care for you. Somewhat more than platonically. I’m afraid you’ll think I’m repulsive for it, but I had to let you know, either way. I know you probably find it rather uncomfortable, and I entirely understand if you never want to have anything to do with me ever again, but I would still think the world of you anyway. (insert my name here) P.p.s Yes, this is the same person I was talking about the beginning of this year. Thanks to all who have replied. Very comfortable with my bisexuality now. I just need to be doubly sure I should tell her.
I think your better off talking to her rather then leaving a note, when I told my best friend that I was into him that way he explained to me that he was very flattered but he was straight and we're still very good friends. Now I'm not saying that the same thing will happen to you but It's a least better then not knowing.
I agree that a talk face to face is better than a note. Dealing with crushes on straight people is hard. The way I try and deal with it is to remind myself that there is something beyond wanting to hook up with that person that I like. There are quite a few cute guys I'd like to hook up with, but I don't have crushes on these guys. There is something beyond their physical appearence, something I can base a platonic relationship on, that I like. So when I find myself lusting for one of my straight friends I remind myself that the reasons I like this guy are reasons I can build something plationic. This isn't easy, and doesn't awalys work (sometimes I still lust qutie a bit), but that is how I try to handle it. Now I'm not really out (I've told a few people). I decided to tell one of my friends who I've had quite a crush on over the years. There were a number of things that were on my mind that I needed to talk about (including sexual orrientation) and it was great to talk about it with him. At the end of the conversation I told him that I really cared about him and a bunch of our friends in our social circle but sometimes those feelings became more than platonic. At the same time I told him that the reasons I like him and some of our other friends is something that I'd based our friendship on. Even if nothing ever happened between us physically I still valued our frienship. He took it fine and we're still good friends. Overall, I'd recommend doing it face to face and to think about how you phrase it. If you come on to her in a seductive way and say "I love you" she might be a bit freaked out. If you find some other way (perhaps similar to the way I did) she won't be. Of course there are no magical rules, this is simply based on my one experience doing it. The important thing is to find something that works for you (but don't forget to consider hef feelings too). That's my two cents. Hope it helps.
I don't know the answer to your dilemna, but I just wanted to say I can relate. The crush I have is on someone who has a spouse (lesbian couple). But, just the same, I have her stuck in my head and it can be quite distracting most of the time. :bang: I am embarrassed to say that sometimes I dream of them breaking up :icon_redf So, I try to just put her out of my head, but it doesn't work very well. I end up actually doing stupid stuff, like emailing her when I really shouldn't. Not that I shouldn't necessarily email her, but the content of my email doesn't exactly belong in her direction.
Tell her u like her and that u dont plan on doing anything about it...unless she says she feels the same way about u, which if she's completely straight probably wont happen. Tell her u hope to stay friends but u thought she should know this.
