Okay I'm sure I'm about to get a whole lot of negative comments and opinions but here we go. So I've been with my man for about 7 years now. But then 2 years ago I started online gaming and well bad me I met someone. We kept it friendly though JUST FRIENDS. I wasn't interested in girls she was just fun and cool to talk to. BUT then it happened we both realizedays he had deep feeling for each other. Our conversations became flirty, caring, sexual the whole 9 yards. Yes I know wrong on my part but I was feeling guilty and did tell my man about it. My problem is... I can't stop talking to her. I love her I know it's real love. I'm finding myself not even attracted to men at all anymore I'm just all about her. I know how we met wasn't off to a good start and now I'm just afraid to be judged by everyone. I tried talking about it to family but they are all very against me being with a woman saying it's a fantasy, all in my head. My own mother is telling me I should go to therapy and will throw my whole life away and every thing I have with my guy for this girl. Please help idek what to do. I'm scared of so many things and very confused. Any advice is greatly appreciated.:***:
I'm not here to judge you and that's not the purpose of this forum either. We are here to help and offer support, so let's begin with that important point. It's fair to say that this is a little bit more than a fantasy. Something real has happened here, so there is no sense in dismissing it or attempting to ignore it and paper over the cracks, but the question to really ask yourself is, how real is it? You began talking two years ago and since then things have developed somewhat, to the point of flirting and sexual chat, but I'm not getting any sense that you have actually met. I don't even know if you have seen each other live, over the internet? So this is where you need to start examining everything from. What certainties do you have about the person you have been chatting to, beyond what she has told you and what certainties would you require, in order to move things on? What are the risks versus the rewards, as you see them? You say you are scared of so many things and very confused, so how about telling us about these things? It's important to address all of your feelings to see if there is a way forward. A number of questions to think about and respond to, but I think they are important before we jump in offer specific advice. No judgement, we just need to understand a little more.
I agree completely with Patrick. It would also be helpful to me in being able to offer more for you if you could describe any past attractions to women. Is this the first time you've ever thought about being with a woman? It's a little surprising that you told people of your dilemma. I read that as maybe you wanting them to stop you from moving forward with her. I do applaud you for your honesty in telling your husband.
