I've only recently admitted my sexuality to myself and haven't yet told anyone else. Actually, I at first identified as bisexual, but I'm starting to think I'm probably a lesbian. I'm not completely sure and don't know if I'll actually know for sure until I find someone. Anyway, I'm considering coming out to a friend. I'm 34, and we've been friends since we were 5. She doesn't live around me anymore but will be back to visit in the next month or two. She's the only really close friend I have that is supportive of the lgbt+ community. I live in a VERY conservative area. Does anyone have any thoughts on if I should tell my friend? Also, do you have any particular tips about how to do it? Thanks in advance for any advice!
It just depends on how you think your friend will react. You don't tell everyone you meet everything about you. Maybe you should find a way to bring up LGBT stuff and see how she feels about it , given you do live in a conservative area, and see if it might be okay to tell her.
Most people come out to a friend before coming out to family. I did as well. There's no magic formula to coming out to someone. I've come out personally to about 40 people by now. I'm rather practiced at it by this point. I've done it in all sorts of ways, some I led up to it, some just straight out "I'm gay" as the starting point. No matter how I did it, it didn't really seem to matter. I did notice that the longer the lead-up to the announcement the more the person I was coming out to was confused about where the conversation was going, so I now tend to just start with the "I'm gay" part. Try not to get stuck on imagining their reaction. No matter how many times I imagined their reaction, their actual reaction was not what I thought it would be.
As a fellow closeted Kentuckian, I totally understand your struggle... I even went through the "If I'm not straight than I at least must be Bi" phase. Given I've only come out to therapist/people I know I'll never see again I don't got any real advice to offer you.... But I got a lot of support to give! You go girl! LOL Show this crooked state there's nothing wrong with us.
It is helpful to come out to a supportive and non-judgmental friend. If you think she's like this (extra good points if really she supports LGBT), then, you are safe to come out to her. You don't want an unnecessary back blow from less friendly people once they know that you are not straight so be careful to involve these kind of people. You judge the situation, your friend's character and personal beliefs, then, decide whether you can come out to her or not. It's always good to have a friend who knows who you really are. All the best.
Thanks for the advice and support everyone. Guff, I've been going through the same thing recently-beginning to wonder if I'm not bi but gay. At this point all I know is I'm more attracted to girls than boys. I actually had a conversation over text with my friend a couple nights ago. She lives away from here and randomly texted me, so I thought I'd test the waters. I didn't go too far over text, just confirmed that we are both supportive of the lgbt community and are both definitely in support of marriage equality. I'll see her before long and will probably feel out the situation and make a decision based on if it feels right at the time. I really appreciate everyone's comments.
