Hi everyone, I like men, I like women. Im in a relationship with a man. Now I feel that i would like to let people know who I really am. But i dont want to make it a big deal. Also, whats always in my mind, why should anybody care, as long im in a relationship with a man. I have the fear that everyone would question who i am or see it just as attention seeking. Also, I dont want to be seen just as the "Bisexual". I have the feeling if someone comes out, a lot of people all of a sudden see just this in the person. Immediately the person becomes "the gay guy", "the lesbian girl"... I dont want this for me, but i dont want to hide myself. I feel like a part of my identity is missing there when Im around friends.. also, on the other hand, do they need to know? but alwys been seen as heterosexual when im not... what do you think about that? (actually i think my parents and friends wouldnt mind, but i dont want them to see or treat me differently because of this...) You have any advices? The question if i should come out or not is quite bothering me lately...
By the time I came out of the closet I no longer cared what anyone thinks of me. If you can reach that point as well, you will find that none of it matters anymore. You will be able to tell anyone with full confidence and not worry about it. This might be easier said than done I'm sure.
I completely understand where you're coming from. When i was trying to tell my friends i had the same fear as being labelled "the bisexual". But when i eventually came out to them i realised they they didn't care. They haven't been treating me any differently since i came out. You said that they wouldn't mind, so i think you should be okay with them. And in the end, if you're friends don't accept you, you can always find new friends
I am not a fan of telling the world that I'm bisexual. Not that I am ashamed of. It's just that I don't give a damn what people think, "is she straight or not?" When I have accepted and loved myself for what I am, what others think don't matter to me. I haven't come out to my family simply because I don't feel the need (unlike others who feel that need to) and they are homophobics. They will put my spirit down and I will not let them do that to me. I have come out to few friends and to my husband. I am predominantly straight for the last 9 years until my bisexuality has been awakened by a certain woman. As for me I don't care what other people think of me like "she's straight." But if somebody asks me with no malice if I like women, I usually say yes. I don't entertain nosy or prying homophobic's intrusions. They're not good for your soul.
I came out to my mother when I couldn't hold it back. But just because my family already talked about LGBT and I knew that she didn't mind. I also told my best friend and I made sure to tell her, that I wasn't in love with her xD She still makes fun of it. But other than that, she is still my best friend and knows an other part of me. She treats me exactly the same. I don't think you should be afraid. Of course, bad things can happen, but these people maybe aren't your real friends? Or maybe they just need time to process. My advice would be to do what feels right. If you think you want to come out tell them. If you want to hide it keep it a secret.
