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I'm anxious I should say... (not homophobia)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by DoctorBenny, Oct 9, 2016.

  1. DoctorBenny

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    I like a boy, I just couldn't continue anything due to our differences between each other. I told my mother through a text that I liked him and I became negative towards myself when things went wrong. She said "Well if you fell for a boy, that means you're gay." giving me the question "are you okay with that?" I couldn't answer it fully so I said "I guess... I'd have to." I have trouble with anxiety sometimes and just hearing that was just a big step, it's like standing on the edge of a cliff and almost falling. Is there a way to get over it? It also makes me feel mad sometimes too, like not mad at anything but myself. I'm just a negative person sometimes (not towards others)
     
    #1 DoctorBenny, Oct 9, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2016
  2. eMei

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    You don't have to give yourself a label if you don't want to or if you aren't ready for one. Just be you.
     
  3. faustian1

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    I think first that it's sweet that you can so easily tell your mother this thing. And second, her reaction seems to be very accepting and helpful. Perhaps her question shocked you, but it's a reasonable one. As was noted by the person who answered before, just because you felt affection for another boy, it doesn't make it mandatory that you label yourself in any way. Maybe for now you should just accept that you're open to having these feelings for boys. It does not foreclose any other feelings you may have in the future.

    But for sure, take advantage of the openness your mother has on this subject. Discuss it with her. She sounds like an ally and may help you figure out in more depth what this all means.
     
  4. Calf

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    Do you get any help for your anxiety? From your GP or a counsellor etc?

    Being able to get your anxiety under control will make it easier to get comfortable with your sexuality and what it means to you.

    You don't have to be anything apart from you. Just be a guy who likes a guy. Be honest with yourself, respect yourself, learnt to love yourself.

    Sometimes you get mad at yourself and a lot of the time you feel negative about things but it doesn't have to be like that forever. There are loads of ways to influence the way you see things and feel about everyday life. I'm not saying it's easy but I know from experience it can be done, you just have to want it to change.