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I can't get my mind off him

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Wired106, Mar 26, 2009.

  1. Wired106

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    Guys I really need some advice. I saw this boy last Friday with my friend at a pizza place and I can't get my mind off him. My friend knew him from his old school so he told me his name and I added him on facebook. We never once talked in the pizza place and my friend pretended he didn't see the kid because he didn't want to say hi, and it be awkward. Anyways, I don't know him like at all but he goes to a school really close to mine. I'm 99.9% positive that he's gay and everyone else that I've talked to that knows him thinks he is too. But the thing is he has a GF which im positive he's using to hide himself. Lately though, I've been feeling terrible because I have a feeling that I will never ever get to talk to him or actually meet him. Even if I do the chance that I will hang out with him again would like like a 0.01% chance. He's super hot and he has such a personality that I like. He's sorta quiet, shy, and likes photography, art, film and other stuff. I really don't know what to do. It's made me feel so bad that I feel like crying. I'm in such a bad mood and I have never ever felt this bad before over someone I barely know. Can anyone please give me some advice on what I should do? Should I message him or what? I really have no clue what to do and it's really pushing me out of shape right now making me super sad.. :icon_redf
     
  2. Greggers

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    Do you have a mutual friend?

    You should take steps to just befriend him, plain and simple. Dont want to randomly message a stranger out of the blue and say "Hey lets become BFF's for life" though hehe :slight_smile: Something more sublte, like attending the came class/activity as him, being introduced at a party or get together by a mutual friend, heck even a planned bumping into him! Maybe add some short comments on facebook if you see other people commenting something, then you kinda blend in with the others and make contact?

    I dunno, im a sleuth when it comes to things like this hehe :slight_smile: but it tends to work!
     
  3. Maddy

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    How do you think he'd react to a quick Facebook comment just asking how he's going? And Greg's got some wise advice there, the boy knows what he's talking about.
     
  4. Jim1454

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    It certainly doesn't hurt to try to get to know him. What do you have to lose?

    At the same time, you've never actually talked to this person, yet you are convinced that he has the personality that you like... He might in fact be a real jerk. So try not to get too worked up. And remember - you're not going to be able to drag him out of the closet, even if he actually is in one. Only he can do that. So all the while he has a girlfriend, you're likely not going to get anywhere.

    I know... Party Pooper = Me.
     
  5. Alex19

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    i agree with jim^
     
  6. ACDC

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    I'm so glad you posted this, Im going through a very similar experince atm
     
  7. ChopinFan

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    Haha sounds like you've got it bad. :icon_bigg Don't stress yourself out too much, although that is part of the fun. Also, don't rule out the possibility that he is going through the exact same whirlwind of emotion over you!
     
  8. Lexington

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    Ordinarily, I'd say yeah, get to know him. But I'm concerned that you already have a fixed idea in your mind of what he's all about. I'm especially worried about going after a (supposedly) straight guy with a girlfriend. Because, come on, you're hoping he'll realize that he's actually gay, and that he should be with you not her.

    These things rarely end well.

    Can you handle having him as a friend? And just a FRIEND, mind you - not a friend who will "let him be himself" by showing him he's gay? But a friend who is supportive of him and his relationship with his girlfriend? If so, then yeah, by all means - send him a message, and get to know him.

    But I'm pretty sure that isn't the case.

    Lex
     
  9. Wired106

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    I'm sure if I messaged him randomly he would reply back and wouldnt react strange. He'd probably ask who I was or something. As for Greg's question, if he has any mutual friends, unfortunately no he doesn't =[
     
  10. Katherine

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    Try to get to know him. Nothing wrong with that. But you should let him figure out his sexuality on his own first. If he doesn't feel comfortable admitting that he's gay (if he is gay) yet, then that's fine. Just try to become his friend.