1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Should I come out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Wolfwing, Oct 9, 2016.

  1. Wolfwing

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2016
    Messages:
    190
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    I have a very simple question:should I come out? It's not a matter of can I come out without being kicked out. It's a matter of if I should because of several reasons

    Firstly, my dad and stepmom are homophobic, but not extremists. For example, my dad has said he doesn't like seeing gay couple and my stepmom has used the stereotypical phrase "God made Adam and Eve".
    Secondly, despite me having autism and speech problems, they're proud of me since I'm in the JROTC program and get good grades. I feel like if I come out, it'll worsen how they feel about me and they won't feel as proud as of my accomplishments.
    Thirdly, I feel like they might not accept my sexuality or it might worsen our relationship.

    So, I'm on a bit of a crossroads as to whether I should come out or if I should remain closeted and just continue lying about it.
     
  2. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2016
    Messages:
    4,311
    Likes Received:
    329
    Location:
    Arizona, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey Wolfwing,

    First of all, as I’m sure you know, only you can decide if/when to Come Out to anyone. Then you have to consider your safety and welfare. You said you don’t think you will be kicked out of the house for Coming Out, but if your dad and stepmom are homophobic, could they make living there until you are old enough to leave home a nightmare for you? How close are you to your step-mom? Does she love you or might she bully you for being gay? Have you consulted with your sister to get her opinion on Coming Out to them?

    I would suggest that you might want to make a list of the pros and cons of Coming Out to them to see if you think the risk is worth the potential gain. If the risk is too high, do you think it might be better to stay in the closet to them until you can move out and be on your own?

    Just some thoughts…
     
  3. mangotree

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2014
    Messages:
    1,322
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Queensland, Australia
    There's a line of thought that suggests - if you need to ask, the answer is probably yes.
    In other words, the fact that your asking suggests that you really want to come out.

    Also, remember that it's your life, and if you can do something to make your life better, happier and more open, what could be wrong with that?
    If it's highly likely to make your life worse/sadder though, I'd say your mental and physical health is more important than being out.