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Another Stupid Depressed Gay Kid.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Roxas101, Mar 26, 2009.

  1. Roxas101

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    Hi,

    I think the title just about sums it all up. I'm depressed, i need help. I can't seem to care about anything any more. Not school, not friends, not family. The only thing i care about at all is Aaron (the guy i'm crushing on), and it's affecting everything else.

    All of my friends are dating people, and i'm just alone. No body cares about me, not even you people. You just pretend to care, because its what you're supposed to do. I don't even know why i'm writing this. Maybe my head is broken? It would explain a lot of things.

    I'm going to stop now.

    Kaleb.
     
  2. Absentminded

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    Kaleb, we do care. That's why we're here on EC. We want to help other people, and be there for them. It's not because it's what we're 'supposed' to do. I wouldn't be writing this if I didn't care, and if I knew that others on EC didn't care.

    And, I've been in your situation before, it definitely isn't easy. I'm sorry (*hug*) I found that letting time take its course helped me out, and just trying to get into some stuff that I was into to get my mind off of that person.
     
  3. Eleanor Rigby

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    Kaleb, I'm very very sorry you feel sad and depressed. Your head is absolutly not broken. You have a crush and you feel lonely and it can become an obsession sometimes. But I am sure there is people who care about you, maybe you just don't see them...
    At least, I hope you will find some support here. I know it is hard to believe that people you don't know and you'll probably never met care about you, but we do. I'm sure you care about some people on EC, be sure that people care for you too.
    I don't know you, but I feel touched by your pain and even if I don't know you, I care about you.
    I would like to add a real hug, but this is the best I can do for now (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)
    Feel free to message me anytime you want, I'll do my best to help if I can.

    Take care, Eleanor
     
  4. bob4carl09

    bob4carl09 Guest

    Dude, I totally know where you're coming from. I went through a period a few years ago where all of my friends were dating, and it felt like I was alone. Just remember it's not likely that they don't care about you, but that they're just kinda rapped up in there relationships right now. It doesn't make them bad people, it's just natural for them to focus their attention on their bf/gf.

    As for EC, I guess it's understandable you'd feel like people only pretend to care. It's not like we know most of the people we talk to here, but nobody is replying cus they're obligated to. It might not be the same as your mates, but it's something.

    If you wanna talk, PM me. I'm not saying that out of duty, but cus I know what it feels like to feel surrounded by people and still be totally alone. It's not nice, and I'm reaching out so if you wanna talk, then I'll listen.
     
  5. Jim1454

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    Hey Kaleb. I'm sure it sucks to be a teenager in these times. TV and movies suggest that everyone lives a life like the kids in HSM. But they don't. Honest.

    Add to that being gay, and life can suck even more. We can all relate.

    Try to focus less on what you don't have, and more on what you do have. Focus less on the things that you can't change, and more on the things you can. Maybe one of those things is to do something about your crush. Maybe you need to come out to him and let him know that you really like him.

    You can always PM me if you want to chat some time. I know (too well) what it's like to be depressed.
     
  6. aerwolfen

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    its a sad and lonely place we sometimes dig ourselves into,we feel sorry for ourselves when things don't happen to plan,thats life, you know we all care ,otherwise you wouldn't have wrote a note,we all have days like that,everyone of us,we would be lying if we said no,positive thinking is so true to us all,its what keeps us going to the next day,being proud of yourself for just being here and being a member of EC,I too have a crush on a co-worker,the only time i get to see him is on the cross over shift,say 5 to 10 minutes a night,i took steps last night to talk with him on the weekend privately,now his interest is really perked, he will be my first coming out,who isn't family,i'm very nervous hoping he will take it well,if so,i will tell him that i have a crush on him,it could go very badly or very good,you don't think i'm extremely worried, perhaps you could help me out,because i'm very new to this,have you had experience with crushes before and how did you deal with it in the past,perhaps you could " pm " in private to discuss it more,the way i see it we are all one big family here to support us all,and very proud to be apart of the group,looking forward to your advise,.
     
  7. Alex19

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    i care! theres not much i can do but give u advise, but its something. and youll snap out of this trance of a crush. i used to do that too, but then i yelled at myself and it got better... try it out!
     
  8. xadude

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    honestly, if I did not at all care I would not come here every single day to give support to those who need it. And i am sure we are not the only ones who care about you. I have the same feeling you do once in a while and I come here and I regain some energy because of all the amazing people. All i can tell you is not to forget what you have in your life, try not to let it all fall away
     
  9. crystaltriforce

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    i care because i know how you feel. and as for being alone..i'm surprised someone as cute as you haven't found anyone. remember there's always someone who cares
     
  10. beckyg

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    I care Kaleb. Have you considered counseling to talk about how you are feeling?
     
  11. Lexington

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    "We've got kids thinking they're freaks 'cause they're not getting laid..."

    Lex
     
  12. Greggers

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    Are you SURE you think WE are the ones who dont care?

    Maybe you yourself dont think you deserve to be cared FOR?

    "Another stupid gay kid" is not a nice title to see :frowning2:

    You are Kaleb, your not "some gay kid". Your 17, you live in Australia, and your a special and unique individual. If you dont think that earns you the right to be listened to, loved, and cared for by people on EC who TOTALLY understand and want to help? Then open your eyes and look around.

    You dont have to be or do what your friends are doing, thats just a stupid notion. Im going to be SUPER lame and bring up "If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too?" argument. The reality is if you stand out of the crowd your more likely to be noticed.
     
  13. Thisisnew

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    I care that your hurting I know what it feels like If you need to talk I will listen.
     
  14. riddlerno1

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    Kaleb,

    i think by all the people who bothered to read your post and reply show that they do really do care for you and if they didnt then the threads of this site wouldnt be filled with messages supporting each other every day!

    You say you need help, is there anyone that you could talk to, a friend or even a school counsellor? You dont have to face this on your own, let others help u!
     
  15. The Enigma

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    :slight_smile: You can always come talk to me Kal. (!)
     
  16. Filip

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    Let me tell you something: you can't pretend to care. If you're pretending anything, that means you care already. Unless you're being forced, but I assure you no one is pointing a gun at me while I type this.

    And it's not as if friends that are dating don't care about you anymore either. They just have a little less time, but they're still your friends if you truly need them.
    And I can understand being obsessed about Aaron. I had much the same feelings for a guy in my last two years of highschool. My parents never knew what caused my grades to drop in those two years.

    If you're really depressed, it might be best to search some help, though. Whether that would be a school councilor, a psychiatrist or anyone else that you can just alk to. If you don't feel like we care (regardless of whether we care or not), talking about it to someone you feel does care still can do miracles!
     
  17. Roxas101

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    Hi...

    Just reading all of your kind words does make a difference... (*hug*) I am sorry for saying you do not care, i was in a very foul mood that afternoon. I am incredibly grateful for the support that I have here, it means a lot to me.

    I am feeling a bit better now. I talked to one of my very close friends about everything, I just poured it all out into her. She is incredible. I am the luckiest person on earth to have her as my friend. I also got out of my room and went and talked with my Mum. This was a bit mixed, she started to go off about how i need to get a girlfriend, and even went so far as getting out the yearbook and picking out names at random.

    I know who i like already, and it actually makes me feel kind of bad going through that. I feel like i'm letting her down. Today i just retreated into my room again and have barely come out at all, except for food. I keep geting really tired, all the time, and i spent half the afternoon sleeping. My mum's even gone so far as to ask me if i'm on drugs. I assure you all, that i am not, and NEVER will be. But it still hurts that she would trust me so little as to even suggest such a thing.

    Right now, i'm just feeling numb.

    Thankyou for caring. It means more than you think.

    Kaleb.
     
  18. Jim1454

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    Your mom is worried - that's all. And it would be silly of her NOT to be concerned that a sudden change in your behaviour and mood might be due to drugs. She of course doesn't know the REAL reason you're so down - because you haven't told her. Do you think maybe it's time?

    I think that we should stay in the closet until staying in there makes us feel worse than we would feel if we were out. You might be at that point...
     
  19. crystaltriforce

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    does your crush know that you have a crush on him?
     
  20. Eleanor Rigby

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    That does not mean your mum doesn't trust you. That means that she loves you very much and cares a lot about you.
    You are a teenager, and you seem to feel very depressed these days. I'm sure your mum can feel your pain and she tried to find an explanation. I think she is just worried about you and wants to understand.
    I hope you are feeling better today.

    Take care, (*hug*) Eleanor