So I'm a fifteen year old and I think I'm gay. I like everything about guys, their looks, their personality and their bodies but when it comes to girls their looks and bodies don't appeal to me in any way and I only like them for their personalities. If I was to come out as bi or gay I think I still wouldn't be completely sure that I am gay or bi cos I am still 15 and my parents are always saying that a lot of gay people and teenagers are just confused. Should I wait a couple years to know if I really am not completely straight? Also, is there a normal or common age for gay or bi guys to come out?
It's ok to be unsure of yourself! Firstly (to get this out of the way), the argument that all teenagers are "confused" is used by many parents who don't want to openly be homophobic, but also don't support the lgbtq+ community. If you are feeling uneasy or uncertain, that's totally fine! Many people slowly discover their attractions to different types of people. You don't need to be gay or bi, you just go love whoever you want. You don't have to have a label now or ever! You just be yourself no matter what anyone says.
My thinking is if one doesn't have a tendency (to be not straight), then he/she doesn't have a tendency. You come out when you're comfortable but come out to people who you think will be supportive as you don't want to have a backlash from less friendly people as this will put your spirit down. You also don't need to put label to yourself. I believe in being gender fluid and whoever you feel attracted to dictates who you are. You are young and will experience so many things about this in your journey. Relax. Don't overthink. The most important thing is to completely accept and love yourself. If you achieve this wholeheartedly, then the rest of what people say will not matter to you no matter how judgmental they are. Remember to surround yourself with supportive friends, too. Goodluck.
Hey HereForAdvice, There is no normal or common age for gay or bi guys to Come Out. If/when you choose to Come Out to anyone is a personal decision and you should only do it on your own timeline, to people that you feel you want to Come Out to, and when you are comfortable doing so. We all journey to understand and accept our sexuality at our own pace. For some of us, that is very early in life and for others it is much, much later in life. Personally, I believe that it is important to understand and be comfortable with your sexuality before coming out to parents – especially if you think your parents are likely to question your sincerity or tell you that you are just ‘confused’. Many LGBTQ people first Come Out to friends whom they expect to be accepting so that they have a support network to rely on. When considering Coming Out to your parents, there are several factors you might want to consider: (1) are you comfortable with the idea of Coming Out to them? (2) do you think that they will be accepting? (3) is there a possibility that there might there be any danger involved if they reject you (physical violence, disowned and thrown out of the house, etc)? (4) what method would work best for you to Come Out (a conversation, a letter, a text message, an email or something else)? If you are still questioning whether or not you might be bisexual, you might want to watch this YouTube video: How to Tell if You're Bisexual - Is Bisexuality a Choice? I hope some of that helps. Good luck!
Ok so believe sexuality can be pretty fluid if you allow it. That is to say, if your not rigidly living by societies standards, your gender attraction preference can shift some. That being said if you are that interested in guys, odds are you will always be attracted, at least a little, to guys. If you arent attracted at all to girls (sexually) then maybe you are gay, but also like I said, your sexuality could shift to where you prefer girls... It is confusing, but natural. For now, I would suggest trying to focus on other things while slowly exploring yourself... Dont try to rush to a decision. Just be yourself and you will be fine. I would suggest not coming out to them yet. I would suggest waiting until you are more confident and sure of yourself. While some kids know at a younger age you are still questioning, and your parents are already advocating the "its a phase/your just confused" rhetoric. They will most likely question you on the topic, so you dont want to do so when you have any doubt, or it might not go how you would like... No matter what I hope you figure out how you want to handle this and it goes how you hope. I wish you the best of luck
