I usually try to stay positive about things. But for some reason, today was the total opposite. Although I have accepted my sexuality, I have just been really sad and lonely, lately. Also, now it's just been hard for me to focus on anything--and that just makes me more frustrated. All I want to do is sleep. Today, all I did was cry. And I can't really even say the reason why. I was reading one of the latest post where a guy was talking about his friends and how they are all in relationships, but he's alone and lonely. Well that's totally how I feel. All of my friends are in relationships--some are engaged and getting ready to marry. (They don't know that I'm gay, either.) I am so afraid of reavealing myself to anyone. When I think about all of this, I just get even sadder. Somethimes I just get upset with them (my friends)--even though they are good people--becuase they are happy and enjoying life. And I just isolate myself from everyone. That just makes me feel guilty. Sometimes I wonder what my life's purpose is, because even though I have been trying to be positive, like I said earlier, I just feel down, unmotivated towards life, and just don't care about anthing anymore. Then there's the fear of being alone... But I'm not gonna ramble on anymore. Does anyone have any advice for me? Hopefully someone can relate to how I feel and what I'm going through. Please let me know. Thanks.
Whenever i am down and lonely, it helps me to read this quote: "Do you ever read the Sunday comics? Well, when I was a little kid, I use to put my nose right up to them. And I was just amazed because it looked like this mass of dots, and none of it made sense until I pulled back. Life looks like that mass of dots to me sometimes. None of it makes any sense, but I like to think that, from God's perspective, life, everything - even this - make sense. It's not just dots. Instead we're all connected, and it's beautiful and funny and good. This close we can't expect it to make sense, not right now."
Good quote Greg. I know where you're coming from Deon1, it's not easy when you're surrounded by people and yet feel completely alone. Just remember that you're normally not as alone as you feel. It's the easiest thing for me to say that, but generally it's true, it's just impossible to see at the time. Don't feel bad. Maybe talk to your friends. You don't have to tell them you're gay neccesarily, maybe just say that you're having a rough time of it and that you want to be around your friends for a while. If they push the subject you can say you'd rather not discuss it, or maybe you'll feel ready to tell them. But you'll be surprised I'm sure how your friends will rally around you if they know you're feeling down. Hope things start feeling better soon...
Hi there! Welcome to EC! :smilewave Sorry to hear that your day didn't go so well for you. (*hug*) Sometimes we have a few bad days where things don't make a lot of sense, but these days will pass. Trying to stay positive about things is always good because it helps you to reinforce the good things in your life and you also allow yourself to feel better about yourself generally. Feeling sad and lonely can cause you to feel depressed and lead you down a path where you don't really want to go. Dealing with sexual identity stuff and plus the fact that the world around you is changing, can become at times overwhelming. Maybe try to take it day by day. Don't think about next week or month. Take it day by day. Try to focus on the things that you have to do. Are you in school? Do you work? Every morning when you get up set yourself a schedule for the day. Try to follow it as best as you can. Try not to get frustrated. I know it's hard but try not to because frustration (as you might have realized) feeds on itself. Take it easy and when you feel that things get a bit much, take a step back and take a deep breath. Go for a walk to unwind a bit. You will be in a relationship one day. You will be able to share it with your friends and introduce your bf to them. No worries, you will get there. Sometimes, seeing our friends in relationships and/or getting marries can actually give us a push to do things that we have resisted or were afraid of doing. Even though your friends are in relationships, try not to isolate yourself from them. Maybe try to take some inspiration from them, to move your life forward too. You can be happy and enjoy life too. Even though you are not out to your friends yet, maybe try joining a LGBT support group or social group at school or in your community. Being part of a support group, can help you in not feeling lonely and it can also help you to get ready to come out to your friends. It could also help you to feel differently about yourself. Being able to relate to others can help. You have already done something absolutely wonderful. You have accepted yourself for who you are. You have taken the first step. Maybe ask yourself "Am I ready to take the 'next step' by coming out to a good friend?" That said, do take your time and only come out if you feel comfortable and ready. The first coming out is always the hardest. But as you become more comfortable with coming out and the idea that other know, it will become easier. If you trust your friends, and you know that they can respect your wishes, and you know that they are accepting and supportive, you are already half ways there. There is purpose in life. There are things you can change. You have already started a major change. Try to build on the fact that you have accepted yourself. Try to look forward to things. Think about the things that you would like to achieve in life. Try to set some goals that you would like to achieve. Pursue them as best as you can. Once you have achieved a goal or a couple of goals, set new ones. Not only will this help you to feel differently but it will also show you that yes, life has always a purpose. Another suggestion I would have is perhaps talking with a counselor at school or outside of school. Often talking about things and thinking about them can help us to move forward. I hope this helps a bit!
Hi Deon1. Welcome to EC. You're likely at a crossroads of sorts in your life. You've accepted your sexuality, but you haven't told anyone about it. Perhaps you've reached that point where it's worse to not tell people than to tell them. You ARE feeling lonely and you ARE isolating yourself, because there's a part of you that is important and you're hiding it. (It's important to you - but it's not going to be that big a deal for others - honest.) Why not come out to people? What might their reaction be? Don't your odds of meeting someone yourself increase if you're able to be open and honest about your orientation and the kind of person you'd like to date? But at the same time, life isn't a race. Not everyone 'settles down' at the same time. So try not to let it bother you. Focus on what you can do to make yourself feel better. And of course, share your thoughts and feelings here with us, cuz that's what we're here for! Again - welcome!
Thanks everyone for your responses! I'm feeling much better now (two days later). To answer Asteroid's question, I do work and I am in school (college), as well. And I do have a schedule that I do follow everyday. I guess it was just one of those days. But again, thanks everyone for your help and your sincerity.
