Hello all, I'm a mum of a teenage girl,pre teenage son and a 5 year old son. We are an extremely close family. My children are close to eachother, and we're forever hugging and kissing and teasing eachother. My husband loves his children, however he's not so affectionate with them. My little one who is a gentle character and who is very close to his older brother, seems to always play with girlish games on the computer (eg, hairdressing, clothes dressing dolls).He's forever fixing my hair with new styles. He doesn't really play with cars, and at his kindergarten school, he's loved by all the little girls, and only has 2 little boy friends who also seem to tease him. He's very attached to me as well. My question is, what were the signs and at what age (if you remember, maybe you could ask your mums) did you know or seem to be homosexual? Although being honest, I would be dissapointed (but I wouldn't tell him so),if my son was homosexual, it would not change a thing,I love my children no matter what, but I just need to get over this niggling question and then handle my husband from there. I know my son is only little (5) but my oldest son has always been a typical naughty boy. Thankyou for any information. Kind rgds,:
I'm just going to talk about my personnal experience and hope you find your answers, if you have specific questions don't hesitate to ask them! I remember always being very attached to my mother and at an early age (3) I remember having boy friends and girl friends at school, I used to hang out with both sexes which was very odd because it was mostly boys vs. girls lol... I remember not having a good affectionate relationship with my father, I remember feeling different than the other boys but it never bothered me, I just felt special I went on my childhood mixing very well with both boys and girls since I was able to hold discussions and interests on both sides. I truly think that I was the one of the very rare people on the school who had real girl friends and guy friends. When I was 14-15 I became aware fo my attraction towards man and I truly came out to myself as gay in the last month or two (at the age of 25)... So although I think there were signs in my childhood that could led you to believe I'm homosexual, I realised it during my teenage years and I started to live it recently...
Athena, Thank you for coming here and asking your questions. I have a wonderful 24 year old gay son who is funny, compassionate, and intelligent. He didn't play with cars either. He would love to cook, do crafts, science, and art. Although not all, I'm guessing alot of these people will tell you they knew early they were "different" even if they didn't pinpoint the gay thing. My best advice for you is to let your child just be himself. You said you would love him unconditionally and that is great! You said he's been picked on by boy friends. You might need to teach him some skills now on how to handle bullies. There are alot of sights on the Internet that help with that. Time will tell if he's really gay. He could also be transgender but its very very important to allow him to develop in the way he feels comfortable. There is a booklet called "If you are Concerned About Your Child's Gender Behaviors" that you can download here. http://www.childrensnational.org/fi...erVariantOutreachProgram/GVParentBrochure.pdf It has some great information in it that will help you. If you have any trouble PM me with your address and I will mail you a copy. I'm here if you need to talk.
I now identify as a gay male, and since kindergarten, all my friends were male (and ended up being gay). I really did not like playing with dolls or girly things, but I know friends that did. Also, remember that not all gay boys like dolls, and not all straight boys like cars and trucks. The best thing is to let him you'll always love him no matter what. (*hug*)
My experience was that by 5-7ish i knew something was different. I certainly didnt know i was gay. It wasnt until later on that i was able to identify as gay. But then i played with cars and action toys; very much sterotypical boys toys really! At school and stuff i had mostly male friends, however i was one of the few people that got on with girls too. One of my close female friends said to me recently that with me she feels 'safe' as opposed to other guys. I think she ment that as a man i became part of a predominatly female group quite readily and quickly. And im very very close to my mum. I still go and give my mum a hug and a kiss. But if you saw me now, i am not the 'stereoypical' gay man. When i came out to my mate, he said to me that "But you like football and cars...." what can i say.......!! I guess what i am trying mean is that, you just dont know until your boy grows up. Carry on doing what you're doing and be there for him, which it sounds like you will do anyway. Maybe read that booklet that Becky has recommened. Oh and maybe have a word with the teachers regarding the teasing!
I don't think you can really know yourself. Your son will ultimately have to figure that out for himself. At the same time, I'm not sure you can really change anything - i.e. 'intervene' by having your husband play a more active role. I don't think there's anything that can be done - personally. What you can do for your son - and all of your kids - is to have an open and frank discussion about sexuality and the different types that there are out there. I sincerely think that it takes more than 'the power of suggestion' to make someone gay. On the other hand, it would likely save a whole lot of heart ache if your son, at an appropriate age, were to be told that he might be attracted to boys, as well as girls, and that is OK. Many of us didn't even contemplate that possibility, and as a result lived in ignorance and / or denial for years.
i liked playing with cars and guns etc. so it might not mean anything. if a 'gay' can play with 'straight' toys then a 'straight' can play with 'gay' toys.
