Has anyone got any advice for overcoming the initial fear in regards to coming out? Whenever i try to tell my mother, I just start shaking and cant even talk. I'd like to do it in person, though. Which seems to be a problem. I just... have no idea how i can do this. I'm sorry.
Hey Dapat, It's always hard to Come Out to the people closest to us. Have you thought about writing out a note or a letter, handing it to your mother and waiting while she reads it? If it's just the words "I'm gay" that are locking up in your throat (a common problem for a lot of us, by the way), then maybe just write those words on a note and hand it to her. Would that work for you? Good luck!
I don't know... I've always had this relationship where I'm supposed to be able to tell her anything. Won't that seem bad if I can't even tell her this single thing about myself?
Hey Dapat, Not at all. What you are trying to tell her is VERY personal and private information. As I said, it is VERY hard for us to Come Out to those closest to us – usually best friends and family (especially parents). That’s usually because even if we are really sure in our own minds that they will accept us, we have the most to lose if they reject us or, almost worse, if they judge us for who we are instead of simply accepting us and loving us unconditionally. And with parents, we often have the additional fear that we are somehow letting them down by not being straight. (That’s not true, of course. We are who we are and no one can choose their sexuality.) This “single thing” is almost certainly the hardest thing you will ever have to tell her in your life. If you can’t say the words, she won’t have any reason to think less of you for writing them out and handing them to her. What you are trying to do take a great deal of courage. She should be able to appreciate just how hard it is for you to Come Out to her. Don’t worry about the how – it’s the act itself that shows how much you trust her. I hope that helps!
