1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Would it be more beneficial if somone was against it?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by riddlerno1, Mar 28, 2009.

  1. riddlerno1

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2008
    Messages:
    660
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Hey everyone,

    So i have been coming out more and more recently and everyone has been absolutly amazing!! which is a good thing and i am so happy with it!!

    But......i was thinking what would i do if someone wasnt as accepting and as i havent had to defend myself in terms of my sexuality, when and if it does happen, will i be able to do it? Then again, if i did defend being gay would it make me feel stronger about my sexuality? Has anyone else ever thought this?
     
  2. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    18,884
    Likes Received:
    3,221
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi there! It's awesome that you are increasingly yourself around your friends, and I am happy for you that your friends have been amazing about it.

    I thought about that too a while back, and I would feel comfortable in defending my sexuality because this is who I am.

    If you do come across someone that might not be as accepting you might just have the reaction of 'what's wrong with you?' because you know it is completely normal and you are comfortable with yourself. You are not questioning your sexual identity, which will provide you with a sense of empowerment all by itself. If you stand up for yourself, and take a stand it most likely will leave you with a stronger positive feeling about your sexuality because you are reinforcing the 'facts.'
     
  3. Greggers

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2008
    Messages:
    2,698
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    BC, Canada
    Thats a very good question.

    For me, i never really WAS fully out until i had a bad reaction and handled it well, as strange as that sounds. When someone didnt like the fact i was gay and i was able to stand up to them, proud and load, it really did the finishing blow on that closet.

    Because it is true. Its easy to be out when everyone is accepting, but its easier to retreat back into the closet when things go bad. Once you get that bad reaction but you dont let it hurt your self esteem, it might actually be helpful to you. However please dont going LOOKING for this rejection. It WILL come in time, trust me on that. You cant avoid homophobia forever :frowning2:
     
  4. sdc91

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2007
    Messages:
    1,402
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Castro, San Francisco, California
    Yeah, I think a negative reaction is good once in a while. It lets you stand up for yourself. Greggers pretty much nailed it.
     
  5. NathanHaleFan

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2008
    Messages:
    104
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Jersey
    Just think of a bad experience as a learning opportunity, for both parties. If you handle homophobia well, it can be rewarding, but don't actively search for homophobia to combat. That's just looking for a fight.