1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

What to do??

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by lostinthought9, Mar 28, 2009.

  1. lostinthought9

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2008
    Messages:
    780
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Louisiana
    OK, this is the situation, and I need you guys advice.

    One of my best friends' boyfriend tries to get with other girls, and his girlfriend, also my friend, keeps taking him back! He's done this three times that we know of!

    First time: he wrote a note to this girl, who happened to be good friends with his girlfriend, saying how cute she was, and they eventually ended up kissing. My friend, his girlfriend, found out and still took him back.

    Second time: He gave his number to my best friend, thinking she wouldnt say anything to his girlfriend. My friend told her and took him back, again.

    Third time: (his girlfriend doesnt know about this) He tried to make a pass at a girl. Luckily, the girl refused.

    My question is, do I tell my friend (his girlfriend), about that third incident...even though she will likely take him back? (keep in mind, that the person that told me about the third incident made me promise not to say anything)....but I feel my friend has a right to know.

    So..should I say something, even though I will be wasting my breath, OR tell her???

    Any advice is greatly appreciated.
     
  2. Mickey

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2008
    Messages:
    1,669
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    Your friend knows what her boyfriend has been doing,yet she turns a blind eye and takes him back. I know you care about your friend,but despite what she already knows,she continues with the guy. I don't think telling her will matter much.
    She has to make her own mistakes and decisions,regardless of how others feel.
    Just continue to be her friend. I'm willing to bet that someday she'll get sick of his games and do the right thing. She'll need you then,more than ever.
    Unfortunetly, that's about all you can do.
     
  3. Just Adam

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2009
    Messages:
    4,435
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    My AV room
    i say tell her your her friend and she has a right to know that her boyfriend is scum after all the chances hes had, and if she does take him back again at least you tried you told her its her look out you were a good friend and warned her now all you can do is wait for the inevitable breakup and comfort her.
     
  4. joss22

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2009
    Messages:
    51
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    Yeah, you should definitely tell her, and tell her that it is her decision to do what she wants to do. It is not right for her boyfriend to be doing this, and she has the right to know. That being said, it is completely her choice to do with it what she will.
     
  5. Greggers

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2008
    Messages:
    2,698
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    BC, Canada
    [​IMG]

    I think you need to give her a big ol' Intervention. Get some people who care about her together, tie her to a chair, and loop an old Barney movie on a TV while chanting the phrase "YOUR BOYFRIEND IS A CHEATING ASSHOLE" over and over until it sinks deep in to her brain.

    ...and im only half kidding. You honestly need to give her a wake up call. Shes in some sort of denial over this boy. If he cheats once, forgive him. If he cheats twice, then things are very iffy. If he cheats a third time, kick that motherfucker to the curb! THREE times?!?! Its not right. Its the best thing for both of them to break up. She wont be in a harmful relationship, and he will actually get the message: "ITS NOT OK TO CHEAT". By taking him back, she is being an enabler to his actions and that will only cause him to do it more.

    Do whatever it takes to get this message through to her. (*hug*)
     
  6. Maddy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2008
    Messages:
    2,633
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Melbourne, Australia
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'd suggest telling her boyfriend "you have to tell her what's been happening in the next day or I'll tell her", and then doing it if he doesn't. When you talk to her (because I hae a feeling he won't confess it), do what Greg suggested - make liberal use of the words "cheating" "dishonest" "disrespectful" and that sort of thing.
     
  7. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Sorry for asking, how do you TRY to make a pass at someone? I've heard of making unsuccessful passes, but not attempting to but failing to make a pass...

    Lex
     
  8. lostinthought9

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2008
    Messages:
    780
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Louisiana
    Sorry, I worded it wrong, I guess.......I meant he tried to get with this other girl.

    Anyways, thanks guys for the advice. :slight_smile: