Sorry, this is my second time today asking for help but... I need to know how I should go about in my current situation... but to fully understand, i'll have to backtrack... About 2 years ago, i met someone. For now, we'll call him A. Well, me and A talked for a long time. We instantly liked each other, but we couldn't date for... some reasons. Anyways, we lost contact for a long time, and I dated someone. We'll call him him B. So, B cheated on, and i couldn't forgive him for that, so we broke up. Now, about 8 months ago, I got in contact with A again! And we began talking once more. But as before, we can't date... I totally understand, but I REALLY like A. Now, about a month ago, B started talking to me, and said that he was sorry, and that he made a horrible mistake. I understand that it was a long time for him to confess this, but I dated him because I like him. I told A, and he said that I should go for it, and there is no way im going to tell A i still have feelings for him even after we agreed we couldn't date. B "claims" to be in love, and i tried exlaining to him that the "L" word is a big deal. I don't know what i should do. I want to hurt the LEAST amount of people the least. I don't want to ruin friendships either. =\
*Decending from the heavens a soft voice cries out* If you act walrusy--he will come Hey man! This is quite a deal you got yourself in here. Let me get this straight. You want to be with A but A doesn't want to be with you (dating at least...). And you don't want to be with B but B wants to be with you. Hmmm.. Well it's unfair to just go with B because you feel obliged. If he is using the L word then it'll be serious problems down the round when you start dating...and he finds out you don't feel the same way. You can refuse him, but you don't have to hurt him. Just explain to him as nice as you can that you just don't feel that "into" him--but you still want to be his friend. It's sad that A doesn't love you back. That must really suck... *Oh wait a sec Bob Dylan on the radio* How does it feel? To be on your own? Like a rolling stone... Like a complete unkown.. Okay where were we You gotta find a way that you can be happy. If you can be happy with B, even though you love A then go with it. But don't lie to B if he is using the "L" word. Try being a greater friend to A...show him that your worth the dating. Whatever you've shown him so far, show him more. Good luck man!
"We dated a while, he cheated on me, we broke up, and now, several months later, he says he loves me and wants to try again." I'm trying to get my brain around the fact that this is from a 15-year-old. My general rule is not to take cheaters back. But in the realm of early teens, I'm not sure it's such a steadfast rule. That's definitely the time to blunder your way through things, and learn lessons the hard way. If you want to try again with B, do so. But take your time jumping headfirst into it. Lex
If you and A has agreed that you can´t date I think you should try to get over him. If you then want to date B (if you can forgive him and give him a second chance) I think you should go for it, but do have in mind that if you´re just into your and B´s relationship to get over A you can end up hurting you both. Maybe it would be best for you to be single until you´re over A? I don´t know if this was helpful at any point or if I just confused you more (if that´s the case I´m so sorry). I really hope it works out for you.
It may sound a little... awkward coming from a 15 year old, and I understand where you're coming from. Keep in mind he said that he" loved" me, not me. I find that the "L" word is underestimated nowadays, and I don't know how far he wants to take it. The thing is though, when me and B dated, he would always talk about our future, and that worried me. I really didn't want a serious relationship like that at the age I was in. Then, he cheated on me and I tried to forget about him, but he called back. Then he pulled all this..."cheesy" stuff out about how he always thought of me and made a big mistake. At that time, A had told me that for our age difference, we couldn't see each other. I understand that too, but what he said was, "This will only be a small delay in our relationship." There is hope for me and A, and I know it! But... all I need is time, and I don't want to date B after what he's done. I'm also terribly afriad that by the time that I am of age, A would have found someone else...
