So, I am new here.. and wanted to get some advice... I am in my 20s and have relatively recently come to terms with the fact I am attracted to both males and females. This is something I have known but tried to ignore for a long time. I have only been with males and it was only until after my really bad marriage ended that I even considered that bisexuality could apply to me. Part of me thinks that my sexuality is private, so why do I need to make it known? And the other part of me wants some of my closer friends to know because I feel like I am hiding something all the time. I also do not want it to be the one thing that defines me. I also befriended a woman a few months ago who is openly bisexual that I am interested in. And it is her that I am most afraid to tell. But she is also the person I want to "come out" to because we have a pretty close friendship. For now, I am just trying to be her friend and get to know her as a person but, that just makes it harder. I have difficulty being vulnerable and I feel like this is the most vulnerable I would ever be. I have always been such a private person. It was hard enough typing this, so any advice would be great. I need to start slow! TIA!
Hi. I don't know if any of this will help or not, but here goes. I think it's up to each person to decide if and when they come out. I can't tell you to come out or not because I'm not you. I don't have your thoughts and feelings. But I can relate to wanting to tell your close friends. After all, they are your friends and it's normal for us to want to be 100% honest with our friends about everything. Maybe you should seek out one really close friend who you feel safe with, and who is accepting of LGBT people in general. Have you ever discussed LGBT issues with your close friends? Do you know their stance on it? If they are fine with LGBT people in general, they should be fine with you as well. In fact, you may find you become closer to your friends than you were before. That's the way it is for me--I came out to several friends and I feel even closer to them now because they have all been accepting and loving and encouraging. You may be in a different part of your journey than I am, however. Like I said, I don't know if any of this helps. I just feel like it is human nature for us to want to reveal our true selves to people. Maybe not to the whole world, but to those of us who know us well. Growing up we are always told to tell the truth; however, nobody ever tells us to tell OUR truth. We each have our own truth and we each have to deal with it the best way we know how. Keep visiting this board and posting your thoughts. This is a very welcoming place. Good luck to you and hope to see more posts from you!
No this helps a lot! I don't really have close friends that I know super well I have some good friends and one best friend. (The girl who is also bisexual and I am interested in romantically). I guess I'm just really afraid of rejection because I don't really make friends super easily. I know non of them would be hateful. But I just don't want it to define me. Sorry, I knowwww I'm probably just over thinking everything! Lol.
