I have come out to the most important people in my life (family and close friends). However, I haven't told most of my relatives or my neighbors. Some of my relatives and neighbors have displayed varying levels of homophobia in the past. I have already been very damaged by the intense homophobia of my parents and some of my friends that prevented me from coming out to myself for many years. If I were to come out to my relatives and neighbors and they rejected me, I think it would do even more damage to me than what's already been done. The down side of still being partially in the closet is that I'm afraid to post pro-gay things on my Facebook page and when I'm walking around my neighborhood, I have this sense of unease about what my neighbors would think of me if they knew I was gay. It's possible that they may have already heard it through the grapevine, so that also plays into my anxiety. My family and I might be moving within the next year, and I'm thinking about not being openly gay until we move. Is that a healthy way to handle this?
planning to not do it till you move might just be the push you need, it gives you a date and time essentially so I think it will help. I say, whats the point of coming out to your neighbors if your just going to move? all that trouble for nothing! relax, wait till you move, and who knows maybe your new neighbors will not be homophobic. I think you have the right plan, wait till you move, then you only have to do it once. but then again, why do your neighbors need to know? is it really any of their business? relatives wise, thats a tricky one, how do your parents currently feel about it (since they know?)? its possible your relatives might already know (do they act differently around you since coming out to your family and such? if not then probably not) but if your parents are supportive you will have that protection, but you should maybe only tell them if they really need to know (or you really need them to know). its a strange thing being open, you win some you lose some as they say, but remember all that matters is that you are happy, nevermind anyone else.
Personally I really wouldn't care what neighbors would think. As for the relatives, if you feel that they would not be understanding or supportive of you, they're not really worth coming out to. I get that being open is a thing that's important to a lot of people, but if you feel telling some people might do more harm than good it's better to just avoid letting them know. For Facebook you do have some room for privacy with stuff you post, there's a filter where you can add people to a list where they won't be able to view whatever it is that you post if you want to avoid unnecessary backlash. Just remember to switch it off if you do want them to see something else unrelated, but be aware this list can't be saved and will have to be set back up if you want to block those certain people from seeing that post.
@europeanguy: The reason it's tricky with my neighbors is because I used to hang out with a few of my neighbors frequently. I think it was sometime in high school when they started calling each other faggots while we played video games (although I don't recall them calling me that), and one of my neighbors told me his friend thought I was gay one time, which was probably a big reason I stayed in the closet for so long. The other day I saw the guy who accused me of being gay in high school and I avoided talking to him because I felt really anxious. Not to mention that I overheard one of my other neighbors saying in reference to the Kim Davis controversy last year that "we live in a morally corrupt society," which was a pretty clear knock on gays. So...yeah. On the one hand I don't want them to find out, but on the other hand I hate that I feel like I'm hiding this big secret. :dry: My parents are fine with it (although initially my Mom reacted badly). I've also told my aunt who used to be homophobic before I came out, and she took it pretty well. Unfortunately, my Dad decided to out me to his parents without my permission, and now it's possible that his parents may have spilled the beans to other people on his side of the family. My uncle is a priest, but my Dad said that when he outed me to his parents, his parents said that there are gay people at my uncle's church who are active participants in the church, so that seems like a good sign. Although I remember a number of years ago my cousin's husband was openly homophobic at a family gathering, so that's a concern. I don't see my Mom's side of the family much either, although my Grandma on my Mom's side is coming to our house for Thanksgiving. My Grandpa who died several years ago was gay and didn't come out to his family until he was in his 70's. My grandparents got divorced after that and I think that's where a lot of my Mom's homophobia stems from, and I think that also contributes to the homophobia of my Grandma and my Mom's siblings. Almost everyone on my Mom's side of the family is Catholic, although not all of them are super rigid about "following the rules." @killswitch0029: Is there a way to make it so there's only a select few people who see my Facebook posts? Like a list of people to give VIP access to, as opposed to a list of people to exclude?
