I am a woman in my 30s and never been with another woman. I have also not been with a man for a long time. While I have been attracted to men recently, I have not felt the urge to really make the effort to allow anything to happen like I would have in the past. In the last couple of years I have been attracted to women even though I have never had any kind of romantic interaction with a woman, not even a kiss. I am starting to feel like the feelings I have for women are stronger and yet without having experienced a relationship or even flirtation with a woman, I don't know what these feelings mean. Am I confused? Am I asexual, bi, or just too insecure to get into any kind of relationship? Anyone felt this way in their 30s?
While I'm not in my 30s I guess I can give my opinion that might possibly answer some of your questions. Going off what you've written, it's possible that you could have a genuine interest in women or it could just be curiosity. You mentioned that you haven't been with a guy in a while, so personally I'm leaning more towards curiosity, but it could be possible that your interest/curiosity in women is now surfacing since your interaction/attraction for men has lessened. This is just speculation on my part, but I hope some of what I said helps you out or gives you some food for thought. Good luck
I think you have hit the nail on the head and this is precisely why I am confused. If I am indeed into to women, how do I go about finding this out without potentially hurting someone or leading them on if it is just passing curiosity. On the other hand if I were to ignore this would I end up frustrated and unhappy. Argghh.
Finding it out, especially when you don't really want to hurt or lead someone on, can be a very tricky situation. I don't really know you as a person so I can't give you a guaranteed way to do so that would work for you, but I guess I can give a few suggestions. - Dating site: If you choose to do this, maybe put on your profile that you're curious and looking to explore yourself as a person. This will make it more likely that girls that choose to help you go into it knowing that a relationship isn't guaranteed and lessens the chances of them getting led on. - Apps: If you're into being more casual and not relationship oriented, there may be some lesbian hook-up apps out there. I personally don't know of any (as you might be able to tell I'm not a lesbian, lol ) so you may need to do your research if you choose to go this route. - Bars: There might be some gay/lesbian bars in your area. You could immerse yourself in the culture a little bit and see if maybe that gives you some answers. That's all I got at the moment, but I hope maybe some of it helps
These are some good suggestions and things I have thought about doing. I suppose i am scared that people who know me find me on dating sites or apps and then I will have to face scrutiny before I have even worked anything out for myself.
I can kind of get you not really wanting anyone to have an assumption about yourself before you have everything all figured out for yourself. Realistically though if someone you did know managed to find you on a gay dating site/hook-up app/gay bar then.... idk, maybe they'd be in the same situation so maybe it wouldn't be so awkward??
Glad I've been able to help. As for actually taking the leap just evaluate the possibilities and do what seems the least scary to you. I don't really have any recommendations about how to deal with making it an easier process, just know that once you get the initial leap out of the way things will get a little less and less scary.
