i havent been on here in a while but im really lost. my boyfriend dumped me a month ago. and im still doing just as bad as the day it happened. is this bad?? in the past month since being dumped, my life started spiraling down again. im failing a few classes, even gym. yup, im failing gym. my dad and i have been fighting recently. and im still in love with my ex. i started cutting again and this time i dont even think about doing it. i just get the thought in my head and the next thing i know im bleeding. im so scared. im really afraid that this is going to kill me. i thought i was going to be with him for the rest of my life, mostly because thats what he told me. i made him my everything and he really helped me get through the day. i walk around crying most days and i cant even control it. sometimes i think the best thing would just be to end my life. please help:tears:
in addition, i've lost so much weight. i'm down to 107 pounds i'm about 5'8 i dont understand whats happening to me. why is my life so messed up right now?
Hi. Sorry to hear things are so horrible for you right now, but you've acknowleged your problem and asking for help so that's a good thing. I don't know much about your situation, but I would suggest all you can do is keep yourself busy. The heartbreak won't go away easily, but if you can find ways to distract from it, go for walks or get some exercise, anything to make it difficult for you to cut yourself. Try and focus on one or two problems and dedicate yourself to fixing it, if you're having trouble with school work ask a teacher to help you get back on track. Everything must seem in an uncontrollable mess at the moment, but if you try to deal with one problem it'll make it easier I'd suggest you try to talk to someone about your problems, a counsellor, or a friend, or if not you're welcome to talk to us at EC. You're not alone
Davo is right ,focus on things to get yourself in a more positive frame of mind,talking with people ,the worst is keeping it botled up inside,negativity promotes depression ,bounce back make ourself known to others jon a group,show others that your a great guy.
thanks a lot guys.. i was so lost until just now. i had no idea what to do and i havent for months. but thanks. i'll try
i know how your feeling. I use to drink alot...and when i was cheated on by my boyfriend...it started again... i didnt dump him at first because i didnt want to be single...i lost friends and im just now recovering and lookin for a sweet guy that cares about me
It sounds like you need some help to get through this period. We can offer some help, but it might be better to get other people involved as well. If you haven't seen your school counselor yet, it might be a good idea to pay him a visit. You might write out everything you've been through, and everything you're currently experiencing, then print it out and hand it to him so he can get the full picture. As far as help from this direction, I'd suggest getting rid of all cutting implements. Get rid of them completely if they're not necessary to the household, and put them in really inconvenient places if they are. Then, even if you get the urge to cut, you'll have several seconds while you "hunt down the tool" to contemplate whether or not you really want to do this. Also, take time out to do some stuff you DO enjoy. Be that ride your skateboard, blast some music, or eat a Krispy Kreme donut. And do try to refocus on your studies. Yes, you can't control your emotions. But you CAN control your actions. Really, you can. So force yourself to do the right thing, if you gotta, until your emotions catch back up. Lex
ive been trying, but when i get the urge to hurt myself it just happens. im so frantic that anything will work to cut with, even my own nails. as far as talking to the guidance counselor goes, she'd have to tell my parents, and that is the very last thing i want to happen
Well, not to put too fine a point on it, but either you have to get a handle on things, or others are going to have to get a handle on them for you. So if you don't want your parents (or others) involved, best do what you can to get back on track without them. Lex
First of all, I send you many many (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) Second, you should stop to hurt yourself. Put the things you are using to cut yourself away. If you can't just throw them, at least do not keep them in your bedroom or in your school stuff. If you had to go to get them, until of having them just by the hand, it will make it hardest to cut yourself not knowing what you are doing. Then, when you sense the impulsue to cut yourself, try to realease yourself by doing something else : hit on a punching ball, scream in you pillow, go out and run for 20 min... anything that helps you expression your anger and anxiety without hurting yourself. I know it is not easy, I have been there, but once you'll have found something to replace cutting, you'll feel a lot better. The, you might need some help to get throught all this. There is probably some adults you can talk to at school : a counselor, the school nurse, a teacher you like... They can lead you in the right direction and keep and eye on you just in case. Finaly about your ex-boyfriend : I'm not saying a heartbreak is easy, at any age. But you are only sixteen, and heartbreaks are parts of the teens deal. I respect your pain and you are completly entitled to feel and express it as much as you want, but be sure you will find someone else. Feel free to Pm me anytime you want and please hold on, these are tought times for you, but they won't last forever. Take care, Eleanor
Cut your nails very short, and when you feel the impulse, put some gloves on. I'm not kidding, I used to scratched myself until I bleed and that tips really work for me. (*hug*)
omg :tears: (*hug*) I feel for you so badly. I wish I knew what to tell you. I think what would work is if you hung out with your friends a hell of a lot more (every opportunity) and party whenever possible. I understand it to be a proven method (for some) and it's doing wonders for me...
im really grateful for everyones suggestions.... but im not suirre how to take any of them and apply them to my situation..
You are welcome. I hpe you will feel better soon. I'm right here if you need anything, even just someone who listen. Take care, Eleanor (*hug*)
Hey there... How are you feeling today? I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a rough time right now. I wish you felt better. But wishing doesn't make much happen. Generally that requires action - and it has to be on your part. You need to decide that you're not going to cut any more, and then stop. Understand that cutting has become your coping mechanism - to stop thinking or feeling the bad things that you are thinking or feeling about yourself and your situation. However, it's a coping mechanism that has become a problem in and of itself. And that generally results in a viscious circle of you feeling bad, cutting, feeling bad about cutting, cutting, etc... So stop. You can't do that any more. But how? Well - it's something that you might need help with. But there's no shame in asking for help. There's no shame in doing what you've been doing. But getting help is the right thing to do. In my opinion, cutting isn't much different from alcohol or drugs. It become an addiction, and addictions are difficult to overcome alone. As an addict, there are two concepts that have helped me recover and feel better about myself and my situation. One is the fact that you have to truly accept the things that you can not change. It is embodied in the serenity prayer: The other thought is the fact that I can't change a single thing that has happened in my past, and I can't control what my future holds, so all I can really have an effect on is today. Focue on today. Right now. And at first, even a whole day might seem overwhelming, so just focus on this moment. Don't allow yourself to get overwhelmed with yesterday or tomorrow. So another reading I love is the following: Your parents love you. They want what's best for you. And while what they think is best for you doesn't always align with what YOU think is best for you, their intentions are good. They would want to be involved and try to help you. We can help too - but to a much more limited extent. But we're rooting for you all the same. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat about anything - OK? (*hug*)
