I had planned to come out i would say my closest friend (a guy) who is also my room mate. Since living together we are really close friends now. on the way walking home now, i somehow was able to geniously bring up the subject of having a friend coming out to me and how i didnt do it well (i was 14 and nieve and unknown of my own sexuality then) when asked if he thought i handled the situation wrong, he completely turned on me and told me how he would not be able to have the same sort of friendship with the guy if they came out to him............... i feel so alone. I know that if he doesnt accept me, then hes not my true friend, but he was the only one that i really did not want to lose for my life. maybe he would act ok if it was his own friend, but from this new revelation, it doesnt fare too good. has anyone had any experience like this? any advise please.
i know that if i came out id lose 99% of my friends thats how ignorant people are. im hiding in pain but when i grauduate from highschool and can be free im not going to think for one second about not coming out. I hate living in a closet that just no one opens. Tell him, maybe he'll be more open about it since your already a close friend. Tell him your not trying to get with him and you just want him to know.
Do know that people act differently in hypotheticals than they do in real life. It's easy to dismiss things by saying, "Oh, I'd never be friends with someone gay", but if confronted with "Leo is gay", it would force him to actually really THINK about it. "I'm friends with Leo, and live with him. Are gays really that bad?" I'm not saying he'll definitely come around, but it's been my experience that people are more accepting when they have a real life example in front of them. Lex
Yeah, it is so different when its actually someone you know that tell you they are gay. i thought my friend who used to make homophobic jokes all the time would be outraged, but when i told him he was fine and completely understanding if a little shocked. It will make him think about your friendship and the fact that you are still the same person.
i was almost in the same exact situation as you. my best friend was my roommate as well, who was very against homosexuals in almost everyway (he's a republican, conservative, is very homosocial- as in he cannot have friends that are girls, he can only be sexually involved with them, is completely against gay marriage, voted yes on proposition 8, etc). he and his girlfriend are the only people i've ever come out to, and immediately when i told him, he said "you know how i'm against it... well i'm sorry i ever was. i don't know why but i'm not anymore." friendships are like any other relationships. they are natural, they don't hurt, and they should always be reciprocal. if your friend really loves you, he will accept you. and if he doesn't, well then you should love yourself enough to accept the fact that you deserve more deserving friends. true friends that matter shouldn't mind, and friend's that mind shouldn't matter.
