does this piss you off as much as me

Such a thing wouldn't piss me off, really. (Can't you ask your brother who he told?) It presumably gives you a leg up in coming out to them.

Seether covering Wham! - now THAT pisses me off.

Lex

 

Ugh, totally! (*hug*) I feel ya man.

Awhile back i came out to a girl from my grad class, i didnt even want to come out to her but the convo was going that was anyways. After i did, i thought that was all fine and dandy...

...until i had one of my close friends tell me a different mutual friend had asked her to confirm if i was really gay or not because the girl in question had told him i was. Confusing, yes? Anyways basically this girl had been going around bringing it up like the weather to people we mutually knew. I was not afraid to come out to them per-say, but it would have been a hell of alot nicer to tell them myself. Plus, like you, i didnt exactly know *who* she had told

How i got over that though, was basically just assuming EVERYONE i had ever known knew at this point. I would not try and hide it from anyone, and if by chance they *didnt* know i would just go "Oh really? You didnt know? Well...now you do!". This is working wonders for me. All my coming out's as of recently have been like this. Its nice to have it almost be a "yea, im gay, so?" thing.

 

That would be annoying. Especially if you shower with them and everything. "Dude, he's so totally checking out my man meat!"

 

I can understand why it's bothering you. May be the first thing you can do is to talk to your brother to ask who knows and who doesn't and also to tell him that the fact he told others about you beign gay without event telling you upsets you.
Then, if you feel fine with it, you can come out to your soccer buddys.
(*hug*) Eleanor

 

No, because after a while there's no point in keeping track of who knows and who doesn't.
Once you're out, you're out, no going back into that closet.

 

I would be very pissed off.

Do you guys both play on the same team? I would just talk to your brother. Its best to know where you stand with your teammates.

 

least it saves you the stress of coming out to 3 of them jsut ask your bro who he told and next time you see them just have a quiet word see that theyre cool with it and if theyve told anyone

 

This happens to me all the time now, and I don't really care, either. I think 2 million people know by now, so there's no going back in that dusty closet.

I would care if I just told somebody and I was really paranoid about who found out.

 

I had the same last week. Basically my friends (or at least the majority of them) have been suspecting things. I haven't had the opportunity to come out to them all yet, since I rarely see them all at the same time. But now some of them have been asking questions to one other friend that I am out to, and he confirmed their suspicions.

Okay, fine, I don't expect him to lie for me, but I do consider this problematic because

a) He didn't tell me, which made for some pretty embarrassing conversations where I was trying to tell them at the same time that they were trying to tell me they already knew, making all of those involved feel awkward (though it's pretty humorous in hindsight)

b) This gave them the impression that there was some "order of friends" with some being more "worthy" to me than others. That's not my friend's fault either, but it's still a bit awkward

c) I really really really wish to tell my own family in a few weeks. And some of my friends know my mother quite well. I really dread having her find out before I could tell her.

So yeah, some of this is me being a massive control freak, and a coward for not telling my family earlier, but it does make me frightened and feel like a bad friend, sometimes.

 

Im actually waiting for this to happen to me soon. I've told my cousin who since then has become really angry with me, and im refusing to talk to him while he's in this mood. If he tells his mother im gay its pretty much like taking out an ad in the regular paper. I would be angry if someone betrayed my trust like that and outing me to my family before i could myself. Acquaintances, i don't think i would mind as much but it would still be upsetting

 

when i decided to come out.
i told the one girl i knew wouldnt keep her mouth shut.

telling people was too hard so i just waited until word spread and BAM i was out.

 

there isnt anything i hate more than being outed by someone other than myself.
this same thing happened to me at summer camp.

 

lololololllollololol

Don't worry, seems like they're accepting if they haven't done anything. Just ask him who he told, and consider it a favor.

 

HaHa soccer team...Wise guy!

 

"Well maybe if yours wasn't so hard to find, I wouldn't be so obvious about it.":badgrin:

 

That would piss me off.

I've almost totally kept it a secret for 27 years (Not that I knew I was gay all that time) so if someone I know tells others (Once I have come out) then I am going to attack them with a rusty paper clip.

 

i agree with limfjord that its all about principle. my sister told my pastor and another of our mutual friends and they accepted it but it still kind of irked me when she didnt tell me she did it until after she did do it. oh well, life goes on