I'm new here and I need some advice. Here is the story: So last summer it had gotten to the point where I just couldn't take hiding it anymore. I had to tell someone. Up until then I had no problem with hiding it. Being gay was just some secret that I had pushed into the back corner of my mind to deal with later. But that had changed very suddenly. Not being able to take it anymore, I told a few of my closest girl friends over facebook right after moving away for school. They all took it well as I had hoped. Over the course of the year I managed to come out to all my friends with out any noticeable problem (so far). But here is the problem: I am deathly afraid of telling my parents. Im pretty sure they will be okay with it, but that tiny bit of worry about them over reacting (especially my father) has gripped me with fear. I'm still not even comfortable letting people I've just met know. I'm afraid to make friends because I want to avoid coming out to more people. My biggest concern is that I've decided to come out too soon, and now I can't turn back. It's has got me more stressed than I have ever been in my life. I can't concentrate on school. I've gotten worse acne than I have ever gotten before. I feel like it is all too much. I want to know if just ripping off the band-aid and telling my parents and getting it all over with is the best idea, or taking time with it is better? I have no gay friends, and don't really know any, which is really hard because I have no one to talk to about it. just looking for some advice.
I thought I just responded to this like...2 hours ago? Wtf? Just tell them. You're 18, and you're an adult now. Once you're out, you're out. It might or might not feel liberating but you don't want to live a life of lies and secrecy do you for something that feels so natural? I don't have any gay friends either. But that doesn't stop me. You could do 1 of two things which are relatively easier to handle. 1) Just walk by and say "I'm gay!" SUPER fast. Im sure they'll catch it and it'll force it into open discussion. That way there's no chickening out. It's what I did. 2) Write them a letter and have them read it. oh and I forgot to mention, use some PFLAG pamphlets.
Welcome to EC! Congratulations on your coming out, firstly (*hug*) That's how it happened for a lot of us, the stress of hiding it just built up and built up and eventually boiled over. Telling parents is often the hardest thing about coming out, but if you're pretty sure they'll be fine with it, I think it's likely they will be - you're the one who knows them best. Have you ever heard them make comments about homosexuality in general, or about individual gay people? If they're generally accepting, I'd suggest coming out to them sooner rather than later - on the whole, I'd say that waiting and worrying is a lot more stressful than actually being out. A letter is a good idea, it generally means that you can fine-tune it, decide exactly what you want to say, and not risk leaving something out or saying something you didn't mean to.
Hi there. You might not have known any gay people until now, but now you know HUNDREDS!!! Welcome to EC! I don't know if you've come out too early or not. I doubt it. Straight guys don't accidently think they're gay, agonize over it for years, finally tell most of their friends, and then realize that they really are straight. I think you can be pretty certain that you're gay. You don't need to 'go back' to anything. So... You've likely reached the point where NOT coming out is MORE uncomfortable than coming out. You will likely feel better, and if you're pretty sure your parents will be OK with it, then I'm sure they will be. But just hang around in here for a while. This site did wonders for me in getting comfortable with who I am and what I needed to do next. Good luck!
