I'm 14 years old, a freshman in high school and lesbian. I'm out to 6 friends. Before school started I was planning to stay closeted until at least my junior year, but now I'm realizing how hard it is to date when you're gay and closeted. I do have a date to the school dance who is a junior, but I don't know if she's really into me, and I don't know how to talk to her because I'm so awkward and shy. There are times when I struggle with being gay but for the most part I think I'm okay with it. My school is pretty progressive, they even have a gay straight alliance, and I know I can handle bullies. The part that scares me is that once I come out of the closet I can't turn back. One more thing, I have friends in another state and I also want to come out to them, but one of them is the kind that tells her parents everything, and her parents know my mom . . . Do you see where I'm going with this? My mom acts uneasy and uncomfortable when I talk about the lgbt community and she has said, while addressing gay rights, that sex should not just be for fun, but for reproduction. I have no idea how she would react to me being gay, I know she will still love me, but I want to come out to her on my own terms. Any advice? Should I come out now or wait :help:
IDK if I can answer all your questions but I can think of a few things. First, congratulations on having a date for the dance! Those two extra years mean a lot at your age, so she probably expects you to be shy and is OK with that. She might be a very good thing for you. You know what works? Saying right out "I feel shy" to her. Yeah, the no turning back. That is something to think about. How are you going to hide your dance date situation from Mom? About sex not for fun, only reproduction... well I disagree and you might disagree, but the best thing is to turn the discussion to love. It's too bad that the term homoSEXual has the sex so embedded in it. Tell her you're homoromantic. What the hey, say you couldn't care less about the sex. (Little white lie.) Parents are as squeamish thinking about there kids' sex lives as kids are about their parents'. LOL. Finally just a good-on-you for writing well. Anyone who can express herself like that can get over the shyness. And maybe in two years you will have a shy freshman girlfriend who needs understanding.
Thanks for your advice! It's really nice of you to respond. I know I'm pretty lucky to have a date to the dance though I don't know how much longer I can hide it. About my mom, I have an idea. I could write an essay about gay rights and tell her it's for school. She often proofreads my essays and she knows we're doing a civil rights unit in history class, and it would erase most of the suspicions she might have if I bring up LGBT topics in conversation. I could write about the things you mentioned, like that being gay is about love not sex. However if she still freaks out when she finds out my date is a girl, I guess I could say she's just a friend. Thank you, that made me feel better about this whole thing.
