I feel so embarrassed I told my good friend this morning that I am not straight and she straight up did not acknowledge that I even said anything. I know she heard me because she was like ohhh. And that's it. She's not homophobic because she is bisexual herself. I wasn't expecting some big thing but at least acknowledge that I just let myself be completely vulnerable with you. Which is really hard for me to begin with. She went on talking about another subject like it was nothing. I feel so embarrassed that I did this. I think I just ruined a really good friendship.
LOL no. She just didn't care because IT IS PERFECTLY NORMAL. I don't think she assumed it took you any guts to tell her, a bisexual, about your gayness, so she didn't make a big deal out of it - since it isn't.
An1213, Don't assume anything just yet. Talk to your friend. If she has Come Out before, she may have wanted to give you the impression that what you told her was 'no big deal.' Of course, ignoring your comment was a bad way to handle it. She might also have taken your Coming Out statement to mean that you have a crush on her. That might have taken her by surprise and possibly have made her uncomfortable. Regardless, like you said, if she is bisexual, her reaction wasn't an indicator of homophobia. So you really need to talk to her directly about this face-to-face to tell her how uncomfortable her lack of even simple acknowledgement made you and find out why she reacted like that. I hope that helps a little. Take Care.
I get where you're coming from. I would be feeling stupid if someone gave me that reaction. Talk to her again. Dismiss the awkardness and just explain how you felt. Hugs and it's okay. You're not alone on this.
I agree with the posts above. Another thought - she may not have realized that this was your first coming out and didn't attach the significance it deserved. I have come out in person to well over 50 people by now and some did react just as your friend did. You may just need to get her to see that this was a very difficult thing for you. Take care. ride:
You didn't ruin a perfectly good friendship at all. If there is anything wrong with this friendship it is definity her but I agree with above - probably she didn't know what to say or something , or maybe has her own issues with her own coming out. I would talk to her - and hesistate to trust her with emotionaly vulnerable stuff again Take care!!! easy does it. Don't worry no big deal - you didn't fail at anything at all, not at all . No failure - TOTAL Success on your part - you did it!! You came out!! And hey, the person you chose was trustworthy not to say anything stupid or hurt you Dont worry - these things are awkward for our generation. Not a problem - just talk it over, and keep reaching out to your friends and loved ones and keep on being brave and standing up for yourself and coming out (*hug*)
Thank you all! This helped me get through the day. I talked to her about it and I guess she was just trying to keep things normal? I feel a little unburdened now that it's over though. It was reallyyyyyy difficult to bring it up again but I did it and it's cool. She says we are still friends. So I guess not a total failure.
Hey An1213, It's FAR more than a total failure. It was your first Coming Out! It was successful, if disappointing in the initial reaction. However, it becomes somewhat easier to Come Out from here. (Not that it is ever necessarily EASY. And, it greatly depends on how personally important the person that you are Coming Out to is.) But it is clearly a step forward! Congratulations! And I salute your personal courage! Take Care.
