(If you just want to hate on asexuals and "special snowflakes", don't bother. Everyone doesn't fit boxes.) A general question, don't know where to post it, everyone can answer: Do asexuals need to come out? In my case I want a romantic relationship with a girl (homoromantic), but no one except us really needs to know what (doesn't) goes on between the sheets, so should people like me come out? To whom? Is there a point, other than showing visibility to the asexual community? If you're asexual and don't want a relationship I figure you might have to tell people (family) that naggs at you about not having a partner, but us who are romantics and want a relationship could just slide under the radar and pretend to be gay/straight/bi - should we? Also, when should you come out to a potential partner? Is it "leading the other person on" if you don't tell right away? Any thoughts? :icon_bigg
You should probably come out to a potential partner as to not lead them on, but it depends on when. It is kind of personal, and depends on whenever the person really wants to have sex I guess (if at all). I don't mind being told later, as my sex drive is not that high, but I'm unsure how I'd handle it in the long run. I know some asexuals can compromise, but for me that's not enough. I long to feel sexually attractive and desirable as sex is not just a physical act to me. It's so much more. BUT other sexuals are fine with ace people if they can compromise, or even if they can't (as sexuals can be sex repulsed and celibate too). You can always just identify as straight/gay/bi to others as the sexual part is none of their business. My sister is ace and identifies as straight. But others feel the asexuality is part of their identity and need to come out for closure.
Thank you for your input! Yeah, I've come to understand some sexuals are okay with being in a sexless relationship. I'm only active on dating sites online (very unsocial being in reality), and I write in my profile I don't want to have sex, so no one gets confused. I wonder if I scare people away though...? Yes, pure sexuality isn't anyone's buisness, it's romanticism and who you date that concerns people. Kind of make me question this whole sexual orientation-thing - shouldn't it be a romantic orientation-thing?
