:smilewave So, nobody knows I'm gay. Two of my closest friends know I like girls but they think I'm Bi, but they don't know that I don't like guys. I cant tell anyone, I'm terrified of peoples reactions. My closest friend in the world who I love more than anyone in the world (not in a romantic way) doesn't even know, which makes no sense considering her and her mother run and LGBTQA Charity so I know they'll accept me! I want to know how I can get over this fear, I want to try and conquer it so I can tell the people I love, even if I get thrown out or disowned I want so badly to not live a lie. It breaks my damn heart. I just want to be who I am. Can anybody give me some tips on how to begin coming out? How to make myself less afraid of coming out?
Hey foxaquatica, I hear you and I understand. Our sexuality is extremely personal and private information. It is SO hard to tell anyone else about it! Many times, we come out to a close friend or two first, but we need to be comfortable doing so (and everyone reaches that level on their own timeframe), be as certain as we can be that they will be accepting, and believe that they will respect our right to Come Out (or not) to others, as we deem appropriate (i.e. they will not tell anyone else without our permission). In your case, it sounds like your closest friend (and even her mother) qualify. Once you Come Out to someone initially and are accepted you have a support group and that really helps. It usually gets easier with time to Come Out to other people after that - except with family, of course, that's always hard. How do you overcome that fear of Coming Out? Well, you can't. You are exposing yourself in that moment that you Come Out. You are totally vulnerable and regardless of how long it takes for someone to react, in THAT moment you feel like you are waiting to be judged (even though that isn't actually true). You can minimize some stress depending on HOW you Come Out. For example, if you feel strongly about telling someone in person, you could just hint at it or talk about how you strongly support LGBTQ issues until you either finally just say it or they ask you directly. Another, more reliable way, is to write them a note or a letter. If you feel that you can't say those three words ("I'm a lesbian"), maybe just write them out on a notecard or small piece of paper and be prepared to hand it to them or show it to them during a conversation when you intend to Come Out. I don't know if that helps....
Hi foyaquatica i am in a pretty similar situation. I am bi but nobody knows Though I am nearly 100% sure my friends and family will be supportive, I haven't found the courage to come out yet. So I guess I can't really give you that much advice. Maybe it helps you to know that you're not alone in your situation. What I've been doing lately is saying out loud to myself that I'm bisexual. It helps me accept and get used to the words. I hope it will also help me overcome my fear of telling others. Maybe you can start coming out as lesbian to those two friends who already know you like girls. How did they react when you first told them? They might be a great source of support when you decide to tell others.