So I'm planning on coming out to my family (as a trans guy) soon, and I'm trying to anticipate what sorts of things they might have to say. My parents are both extremely conservative and have been trying to impose tighter gender roles on me my whole life, so I'm not really expecting it to go well. My sister thinks that she's very open minded, but that's only the case with gay celebrities (she isn't accepting of non-straight people in her school, and thinks Caitlyn Jenner is disgusting). I'm hoping that if I have an idea of what they might say, or what sort of things they might ask me about in the process, I might be able to formulate some answers for questions they might have. I'm planning on leaving a letter to each other them individually next time I go home (I live on campus at my school), and asking them to read them after I leave. That gives me 4 hours of driving time before I'll be answering the phone, so hopefully that time will help calm things a bit. What sorts of things are families generally concerned with, and what questions/arguments should I be expecting? Also, if anyone knows of any good online resources I could share with family members to help them understand, that would be helpful as well.
I know this probably doesn't really help, but you'll probably face dismissal. They may not believe that you are and think that you're just trying to be gay. I'll be honest I think the best way is face to face. It'll suck but they'll possibly understand better if they see you, think about how you just might be trans, and know you're serious. Just what I think, I have no experience in this. Good luck!
Thanks! I think that's good advice. Unfortunately, in person isn't really a plausible option for me. I won't be able to get them all in the same place at the same time (my parents split up and my dad remarried), and I don't want the added drama of telling some people before others. I also don't think I'd be able to say everything I want to without being interrupted and there being a huge argument, and I don't really want to try to explain anything while angry. Then there's the possibility of it being unsafe. All around, it's better for me (though it's probably different for everyone) to not be around when I'm telling them.
Maybe you can do it with a recorded or even live video. I do think that seeing your expressions and face will help them know that you are serious and, mean what you are saying. You might do a 2-5 minute video, then include a letter explaining more details you want them to know.
I hate to be bitchy, but why do your divorced parents think they know what's best for you? The obviously were't very good about knowing what was best for themselves....
