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Pros and Cons

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by fanfreek, Mar 31, 2009.

  1. fanfreek

    Regular Member

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    In light of getting advice from so many people, I decided to do a little pro and con list of coming out. I got advice on so many different sites from so many different people and just the prospect of being able to be who I am is making me breathe easy.

    PROS:
    - the sense of relief after no longer having to hide who I really am
    - being able to look people straight in the face when they say something good about me... I've been hearing all amazing stuff about me from my family that it's sometimes too tough to not let them know
    - just waking up in the morning knowing that today I will be able to live life the way it was meant to be
    - no more daily hours spent going through "should I" or "shouldn't I come out"
    - being able to actually meet guys, maybe even fall in love
    - not wasting my "young years" in hiding
    - being able to talk freely about it with my friends

    CONS:
    - the insults
    - losing friends (okay, so maybe they never actually were) - this may not touch me as much
    - parent disappointment, maybe abandonment?

    I guess it's just a matter of time. I feel a little bit worried about it, but overall I don't know why but I just feel like I can't wait to finally do it. I guess I have reached that point or something. I'm not that afraid anymore; losing my mom pretty much got rid of half of my fears because I guess it made me even stronger.

    Once again, this is all about me, but I needed to write a little. You don't even need to comment on anything; just being able to speak freely on this site is great. I may have left out some stuff in the pros and cons stuff, but I guess this is mostly all that I care about. Nothing can really win over love or finally being me.

    Being in the closet is like putting on a mask every time I wake up. It can be comfortable when you don't care about yourself and you only want to please others, but when you finally had enough..... I guess I'm going to use Oscar Wilde's quote "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
     
  2. aerwolfen

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    sorry bt your out ,you just did it here,congrats you made the first step,but really your inner happiness that sense of relief about not lying to your family and friends and most important to yourself,you made the first step coming out to everyone here at EC, we are very supportive,its the best place to let your feeling out,shout it out loud,i'm GAAAYY! that was easy,now what, you carry on with pride on being true to yourself, if you can't be true to yourself how can you expect truth from others, your true friends will understand and your family will still love you, the insults are from ingnorant people stay away from them,you have more to gain by getting this doubt off your shoulders,embrace life ,you'll do wonders,we all here welcome you to this group,think positive.
     
  3. Lexington

    Full Member

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    Out to everyone
    I think you've hit on the main points. Coming out is less a socio-political statement than it is just something to get beyond. In the closet, you have to worry about things like "do they know?", "what should I say?", "how do I make them not be suspicious?" After coming out, all that goes by the wayside, and you can concentrate on living your damn life. :slight_smile:

    Lex